Sunday, August 6


lentil soup is mental fruit,
and ginger root is good for the yout'!!
after a disappointing day,
doing tattoos, sort of,
at the place i don't work at, but work at,
while the skies were evening dark all damned afternoon,
i needed something burly.
something hearty.
something expert.
and i knew whatever it was had to be thick, son.
a fat stacked hug from within was what i was aiming for.
you know i'm talking about how i had a lame day,
and then a rad dinner....right?
oh, ok!
that's good.
what do you know about lentils and rice?
here's the heat code: they're always a good idea.
and with tofu and tomatoes, too??
i had myself a comfort bowl,
a super bowl,
a burly barbarian hurry-up curry-down bowl,
and i have to say, with as much humility as i can conjure up:
that's real.
check the teleport:

i'm ON that rib-stickin' thickness, neighbors.
i mean, really, tho.
y'see that crispy business in the bottom of the photo?
that's a potato.
potatoes are rad.
tossed with cayenne and paprika and olive oil,
and oven roasted on parchment at 405 luscious degrees, fahrenheit.
y'know what that is?
coolwater cucumbers? sure.
a little crawnch is good for you,
and after all,
the whole bowl can't ALL be squishy, or you're doing it wrong.
those heirloom tomato quarters?
they're deep and dark, almost burgundy, with deep green stripes,
and they're F*ing expert.
HUGE tomato flavor, in smaller roundies, is something i approve of.
baby kale and pea tendrils on the sides, to stir in and mix up
and activate a little freshie-freshness for my face.
i need the green stuff, friends.
nutrients and all that are what plants crave, when i'm on that brawndo jaun.
you know.
the ginger-lime rice was STILL awesome, a day later.
i'll confess,
i built up my suppertime idea on how much rice there still was kicking around.
fresh ginger and lime zest, a little grated turmeric root, a dash of salt-
damn. how can it be so simple, but live SO fat?
i'm pretty sure it's because of the maestro, actually.
shouts to the boys entering anarchistic states towards internal excellence.
if you know, you're cool.
if you don't know, you're either too young, or too lame.
coconut-fried tofu has become a staple in this household.
the coconut oil's high-heat tolerance makes the tofu ten thousand times crispier,
and twenty-hundred times crustier,
and generally all-around better.
so that's now an official thing.
rules is rules, bro.
red onion sprankles!
cilantro sprankles!!
toasted coconut sprankles!!!
triple-activated accessorized elites for my eats, man...
too much is the right amount,
which all the real ones out there are on deck with.
you know me when it comes to exxxtras.
...and i give thanks, and i salute you.
and then there's those red lentils.
i get into some dal, dudes.
oh yea.
i doo-doo that slow simmered saucy sloppy succulent soupy seed smash.
i mean, who doesn't?
unadventurous diapery babies, maybe,
but all of us would throw down and terrorize a big bowl of this much hottness,
which is why i like y'all so damned much.
it was easy as heckfire, too:
1/4 chopped onion,
1 T minced red pepper,
1 tsp mashed jalapeno,
GPOP, cumin, coriander, cayenne, ground mustard, toasted coconut flakes,
fire-roasted tomato flakes, salt & pepper.
sauteed in just a dab of coconut oil, to silt the veg and toast the spices-
then, it was simply 1 cup of red lentils with 1 3/4 cups water,
and about fifteen minutes of boil/simmer/rest, until it was thick and rich and creamy.
ok, OK.
i also threw in a punch of red onion, a tablespoon and a half of chopped cilantro,
and a full-sized handful of baby kale, too.
i like it better when there's a lot going on.
and i'm home alone, essentially (crabtree can't cook for sh!t)
so there's nobody to tell me to rein in my overdoings,
which makes me kind of happy, honestly,
because i'm on some MORE and MORE and MORE type jauns.
that's my style.
y'ever try to engineer anything without any experience in engineering?
that's where i'm at.
just using my brain, and no preconceptions (due mainly to no prior experience),
of how to ornament and adorn the new space, so that it accurately and effectively
is infused with the correct feelings, to provide a properly attuned environment
for being totally motherF*ing creative all the flipping time.
i hope my lack of knowledge is balanced by my problem-solving(and finding) brainwaves.
i s'pose only time will tell if the concepts i've concocted are cool, or pure sh!t.
i'm crossing my fingers, and my heart, and my t's,
and opening and dotting my eyes and my i's,
in a sincere plea to the secret universal plans not to eff me in the A*
as if i was at the drive-through.
i've had enough suckiness,
i'm open and receptive to some brand-spankin' new over-the-top superhot awesomeness.
i'm ready for it.
hands out, mouth open, pants off.
that's something else.
you know what i meant;
never quiet, never soft.....

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