Thursday, August 31

CRANBERRY CAKE!!

yes i do.
that's right.
i DO.
in fact,
i doo-doo that sh!t like it was my purpose in a previous incarnation
of my reassembled self, resurrected from the echoes of infinite energy in the universe.
y'know?
what?
no?
oh.
lets start over-
hey duders!
did you know that i can bake a single layer breakfast cake like nobody's business?
you didn't?!
well, it's true.
and this most recent bake-up was the BUSINESS, brothers and sisters.
seriously.
check the teleport:

CRANZO MORE-A-CONE!!!
that's obscure, and only for the most spaghetti of westerners,
but that cake tho!
too dope.
how moist?
how caramelized is that brown sugar on top?
do you even eff with dried cranberries?
if not, you should totally start.
here's all you need to get your very own poppin':
-
*
CRANBERRY DELUXXXE!
-
preheat your oven to 360℉, with the convection setting if you're fancy like that.
-
in your mandatory stand mixer, thoroughly cream together:
1/2 tsp salt;
3/4 cup sugar;
1/4 cup dark brown sugar;
1 stick (8T) vegan butter;
1 1/2 tsp vanilla bean paste.
once whisked appropriately, add:
3/4 cup non-dairy yogurt, and remix until uniform.
add 1 cup non dairy milk of your choosing,
and then sift in:
2 1/4 cups flour;
2 tsp baking powpow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
2 T organic non-gmo cornstarch;
1 1/4 cups chopped dried cranberries.
add the well-whipped batter to a greased and floured 10" pan,
and bake for upwards of 40 minutes, or earlier,
but NOT before topping it with MORE dried cranberries,
and a sprank-up of brown sugar, which will caramelize
and add a little crackle to the overall soft and moist magic of this bad mama-jamma.
WORD.
i couldn't stop eating it,
especially since its been chilly as heck around here,
and the subtly fall-like flavor had me catching some type of feelings for realsies.
mmmmmm.
***********
i'm ready to be open.
i'm basically ready to go,
i just need the go-ahead.
and when it comes,
you'd better believe this is going to be a september for the history books.
ready or not,
we're heading into fall like a cannonball.
it's all really happening,
and it couldn't be any other way;
never quiet, never soft.....

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