Tuesday, August 15

KUNG PAOWERFUL!!

KUNG PAO!!
dudes,
it's quick-fast and in a rush,
it's spicy as a whip,
and it's filling AF!
yuuuuuuuup.
diced fried tofu,
jalapeno, red chili, red bell pepper, celery, onion, sliced garlic,
and SAUCE!
kaBOOM.
that's that kung 'fu, fools!
oh, heck yesssss, it's some serious dinnerly dopeness.
dispensed in record time, at that.
teleport:
KUNG PAOWERFUL!!
sizzled in sesame oil,
the 'fu gets SO crispy on the outsides-
and with a little GPOP, and ground mustard, and ginger on top?
expert.
and once that tasty bean curd is crisp'd a bit,
you just toss in the rest of the little squares of veg,
and season the heck out of 'em-
mmmmmmm.
MIRCHI MIX'D SPICES? get on that.
it's like crushed red pepper, black pepper, paprika, star anise and stuff...
make your own blend with the proportions you favor, and shake that stuff on everything.
....delicious.
for this meal, i used:
1/2 block tofu;
2 T sesame oil;
1 huge stalk of celery;
1 small sweet onion;
2 cloves of garlic;
1 jalapeno;
1 small red chili;
1/2 red bell pepper...
^ easy easy.
then, after adding 1 T tamari;
1 T rice wine vinegar;
1 T red hot sauce;
1 T agave;
i added 3 T peanuts,
and sizzled it alll up until the peppers were jusssssst this side of raw.
sweet, salty, sour, spicy.
that's the secret.
-
adding in those spicy red radishes was smart.
topping it with cool lettuce and pea shoots was pretty bright, too.
but,
those scallion and cilantro sprankles??
that's the masterstroke of genius.
make sure you put the on there,
otherwise you're only getting 90% of the boomfire you need.
and 100/100 is where it's at,
especially when time is of the essence,
because sometimes, you can't come back-
like mama said:
if you need 5 cents, don't ask for 3, ask for 10.
peace to de la soul for that one.
-
what are we serving that up on?
traditionally, it's rice,
but in this case, it's rice noodles.
yup.
black (rice) magic is what were conjuring up.
five minutes in boilin' water, a quick rinse, and a toss up
will have you slurping up the spiciest noods and improving your moods
with the quickness.
noods, dudes.
that's where it's at.
wordimus prime.
***********
hurry up!
that's all i think, all day, as i spin in circles,
trying to get where i've got to go,
before i need to be somewhere else.
...which just happens to be everywhere,
all the time,
like a tornado of temporal twists and turns.
i can't imagine this kind of fractured focus is at all very good for you.
in fact,
not sleeping, but also spanning crucial hours attending to the very real
investment of time that is ONLINE SHOPPING,
is kind of an insane way to invest energy and money and emotion! in
the build up towards the bigger picture.
dudes,
that's real.
i mean, you can't just go to the rug store,
because there isn't one in the woodsly goodness.
and the file cabinet situation?
sure, i could get some sort of budget jaun,
but only if i stopped caring about the smaller details of this endeavor.
and that's NOT a thing,
because the devils creeps in through those little slackass indulgences.
(did i just become half-amish?
ANYway,
from the lightswitch covers to the curtain rods,
i'm making the calls,
which means i'm to blame if those choices suck sh!t.
yup.
accountability is the better part of decisiveness.
no jokes.
the back end consequences are longer lasting than any knee-jerk responses
to building pressure and time constraints.
after all,
the right rug realllllly ties the whole room together, y'know?
can't have some cheapo crapuloso on my floor.
no way.
rules is rules,
and the new hottness needs to fully replace the old busted jauns.
*
crabtree is a living-breathing full-speed running wrench in the works.
he really is.
left alone, he's destruction embodied.
he just wants to battle-beast his whole head into every possible worst-case scenario,
from roadside rot heaps to clifftop leaps, to pillow-biting and rug-munching!
c'mon. i mean that literally, but still......YIKES!!
and what it takes to wear him out is HOURS and miles.
that's considerable time invested every damned day.
and once he's actually tired, he's only got an hour's worth of calm in him,
before the batteries are recharged and he's back with 11x the intensity.
i thought it'd be cool to have a homeboy with the same energy as i do,
but i didn't account for the ambitionless directionless distraction that's be
from a mute shark-bullet with no artistic creativity whatsoever.
he's lucky he's such a sweet little idiot.
if he was in any way more of an A*-hole,
i doubt i'd be able to cope.
then again,
i did spend almost a decade with a dirty poor-person pitbull who was mostly sh!tty,
but that was because i also spent that decade with her mostly-sh!tty owner, too.
ha!
there's no ladies here to mitigate this little guy's behavior.
and without that intervention, he'd better maintain this precarious balance of
delightful and devastating, lest he fall out of favor at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
.
.
.
OH STOP IT.
that's my DAWG, duders.
no matter what, we endure each other.
but if you're wondering why AMPERSAND isn't opening any sooner,
you can thank this little sh!tmonster.
that's no joke.
my future, as usual, is slightly misaligned,
because i only ever love the things that will hinder and harm my fortunes;
never quiet, never soft.....

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