Saturday, August 26


homemade silken tofu ranch dressing?!
from a dude who had previously never had any rnahc dressing in his whole entire life?
i don't normally eff with those thick dressings,
with homemade luxury buffalo sauce,
and homemade luxury seitan steaks on the menu,
i felt that some sort of homemade luxury in the secondary sauce department
was probably kind of a great idea.
and what is vegan dressing except a way to add even more vegetable power to
any and all already-awesome power-packed treats, right?
i've been on some distracted action and disjointed disorientation-type days and nights.
no sleep at all,
and running back and forth and to and fro and everywhere in between
has finally take it's toll on my attention.
when it was early-ish, and there was nothing left to do but go home and make dinner,
i did just that,
and it was just about the best feeling i'd had in days.
oh, i mean it.
that's real.
buffs on buffs and a little curried cauliflower for good measure?
yes please.
i made it, and i ate it, and i'll likely do it again, too.
just LOOK at it:

the seitan has a little arrowroot on the outside to crisp it up,
and it's sizzled away in a pat of earth balance buttery goodness.
then it gets basted with that blarpity buttery hot and tangy buffalo barbarian blast.
that's 4 T texas/louisian hot pepper sauce,
with 2 T butterish,
and a shake or three of GPOP,
a 1/2 tsp of nootch,
and a tsp of sriracha-
all melted up in a small saucepot into one greasy, gooey, air-flaming spicy emulsion,
which gets 1/2 tsp of xantham to thicken it,
and there you have it:
the best damned buff stuff in the business.
when the seitan gets it fried on it, the whole color and texture changes for the better,
then with some of that gummy, gooey, buttery big action on top, as well??
holy smokes!!!
too much is the right amount!!
and that's no joke.
celery snips, and parsley sprankles, and vegenaise on homemade fresh-baked sourdough?
that's lusciousness deluxe at it's finest.
i have a small little homemade life,
concentrated and double-distilled from all the larger than lifetimes i squeezed
into all the preceding years.
these tiny but intense brightenings, day to day, are kind of awesome.
fresh baked bread is incredible.
custom foodstuffs that are intentionally inventive?
that's expert.
all you need at that point is MORE.
that's where that vegan ranch comes from, bro.
i mean,
rules is rules,
and we can't just start F*ing off on some storebought sh!t at THIS point, y'feel me?
in your trusty food processor, pulverize:
1 block, semi-drained silken tofu;
3 T lemon juice;
1 tsp lemon zest;
1/4 tsp pink salt;
2 T apple cider vinegar;
3 cloves fresh garlic-
pour that into a medium bowl,
and add:
1/4-1/2 tsp black pepper;
1 tsp ea. Garlic Powder and Onion Powder;
1 1/2 T minced green onion;
a big punch of finely chopped parsley.
whip it. whip it real good, and he problem of true-life non-dairy vegan dressing is solved.
like i said at the top,
i dunno what the hell ranch is 'posed to taste like,
but nate does,
and he said this sh!t is ON POINT.
i'll take that as a success, because he's on some discrimi-nate-ing palate jauns.
oh, stop it.
and that cauliflower?
it's right up ON it.
cauli-florets, olive oil, chipotle ho'sauce. red-hot ho'sauce,
coriander seed, cumin, and a splash of tamari,
covered and steamified to soft centered succulence,
then upgraded with cilantro sprankles,
and lots of cracked black pepper.
there;s radishes and microgreens and cukes too, but i mean, that's just add-on ganish,
for cawnch and coolness.
you don't need that sh!t, but you're probably a little losery
if you aren't trying to have the full-blown beauty for supper.
don't sell yourself short.
plants on plants on plants.
if you don't have that chlorophyll freshness,
and that oxygenation of the air,
you don't have a good environment to enoy.
AMPERSAND TATTOO will have plenty of fresh air,
filtering all the pizza-pie out of the air,
and exhaling all sorts of life back atcha.
i'm all about pots.
and soil,
and saucers,
and every other nurtured little nuance that'll elevate the space
into a place we can all feel very comfortable spanning time.
after all,
i'll be there every single effing day,
waiting to show you all around,
and zip some zaps on you while  we're at it.
i'm so grateful for this opportunity, self-made or otherwise.
it's an exercise in endurance,
waiting for the go-ahead to get your money from you,
but it's good.
maybe what i needed was a little humbling minute of reflection.
a recharge, and a regroup,
as well as a reassessment of my methods and motives.
here's what i've come up with:
no matter how hard it all feels, how heavy,
and how tough the times seem to keep getting,
it's ALL really happening, and moving forward,
with cautious, but determined baby steps,
towards a fully-immersive magnificence i can call my own.
it takes as long as it takes,
just so long as it bears fruit in the end.
i'm doing my best to be a better man, and a better artist,
and a business man whose busy-ness won't blind him to the burden of being good to y'all.
i'm ready already, and once the space has been deemed ready,
whenever you're ready,
we'll get together and conjure up some mighty magic for everybody;
never quiet, never soft.....

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