Friday, March 23


why are oats my favorite?
because they taste great.
they look cool.
they're hearty, burly, scottish warrior grains,
and they do their job without b!tching about it.
oats are rad.
and they make a great cookie.
that's a fact.
oatmeal chocolate chip is my preferred style.
sure, the cinnamon ones are good too, with the icing, and the old lady effects;
i'm just much more of a chocolate-type chipper fella,
and that's gonna forever be my first choice.
you know where this is going right?
i made 'em, and i made 'em right, and i made 'em right-quick, too.
cookies are great for whipping up exxxtra fast,
and baking a batch before a walk with my little badboy bull terrier crabtree,
means coming home to perfectly cooled, especially aromatic
expert treats that've already been ready and waiting around
for our return, simply to end their short existence once we begin devouring them.
which explains why that's exactly what happened
purpose-driven performance-
bake treats, walk dogs, exercise, eat treats, repeat.
i like that.
it's a cycle that sustains and motivates my movements.
and it means that there's also oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.
check the teleport:

woodsly walks uncover the coolest things!
that's for real, though.
now i have two of those awesome old jauns.
AND i got to eat cookies and look at it at the same time!
what a day!!
what's that freckle-lookin' stuff on the tops of those little oaty blarps?
it's melty ground creamy coconut chcocolate, fresh off the microplane grater!
but how did i make the cookies?
in a bowl, then on a tray, then in an oven.
here's the recipe:

preheat the oven to 375℉
in a medium mixing bowl, smash up:
1 stick vegan butter;
1/3 cup raw sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 cup brown sugar.
stir in:
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce. mix well.
1 cup rolled oats;
1 1/2 cups flour;
1 tsp ea baking powpow and soda;
1 cup coarse ground oatflour;
1 handful of mini dark chocolate chips;
1 handful normal-sized chocolate chips;
1/4 cup ground unsweetened coconut meal, fresh from unsulphured dried flakes.
knead it, pinch off balls about golfball size, semi-flatten 'em by hand,
and arrange them evenly spaced on a few trays-
bake them for 12 minutes, but not before you grate that chocolate on the tops.
don't skimp on sprankles,
because spranks are the easiest way to upgrade your treats.
MORE awesomeness always happens when you put little crinkles on top, man.
that's a a thing.
there you have it.
oatmeal sexxxiness, in rough circles, live and direct from your kitchen,
headed right on over to your oven,
and finally all up and into your face.
so what's on the schedule today?
man, c'mon.
you know the answer already:
it's tats on tats on tats-
no. it's cool.
i'm gonna be hunched-over and hand-cramped from non-stop tattoos all weekend?
heck yes.
so, like, tattoos all the time, the whole time?
and it looks like that's every day until thursday-
then (and this is pure conjecture),
i may even get a few spare minutes to span away from work.
we'll see.
it's not today, though.
today and tomorrow, i've got stacked back-to back appointments,
mostly with one whole entire family.
that's a lot of time to spend with one group of people.
i repeat myself a LOT, so when it's the same folks for days,
there's very little room for recycling the conversation,
which in turn means it's bound to be an off-the-cuff runaway trainwreck
of dialogue between me and the rest of the gang.
we'll see how it goes, but i can't imagine it's gonna a gentle discourse on the
pros and cons of home heating options, or whatever grown-ups talk about.
( i really have no idea
the thing is,
it's ALL really happening,
the tattoos and the togetherness and the time taken and spent and spanned-
i'm grateful for the thing-
the bitter bits make those sweet movie checks even tastier.
that's word.
busy is good.
pressed for time, and pressured to perform is good.
there's always room to be more efficient,
and this kind of timeline is great for exposing the slow spots.
i'm ready, and my eyes are open,. watching out for ways to get better.
if that's not some P.M.A. sh!t,
then i dunno what is;
never quiet, never soft.....

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