Saturday, March 10


maybe i'm fighting off a cold.
i doubt it,
but that'd be preferable to admitting to finite resources and energy reserves.
here's the thing: i'm tired.
no. i mean it. i am physically exhausted.
and my hands hurt.
and my back has got that tension tension t-t-t-t-tension like die antwoord.
y'know why?
because i  work all the g-dang time, and talk the whole time,
and pack all the minutes before and after with all the other stuff that's got to get done-
and as much as i love it,
i keep forgetting that i am not a young man.
...mostly because growing up is for suckers, and i don't suck.
time still passes at the same pace, though.
heck, it might even be speeding up.
also, there may or may not be such a thing as a weapon xvx healing factor.
so, wearing myself out, hunched over my clients,
all damned day every damned day is taking it's toll through attrition,
and/or pyrolysis.
this much hottness can't burn brightly forever and ever.
and as much as i want to believe in my infinite capacity
for perpetual motion as it relates to my days and nights,
my regimen is trying to break my body into pieces.
and that's lame.
maybe i need a day off again already?
that seems excessive.
maybe i just need to try harder to pull off some super-saiyan sh!t,
and yell until my hair grows back and turns yellow?
i'll give that a go today, with my clients on the table,
and see what happens.
in the meantime,
let me tell you all about the latest greatest cake i baked:

blueberry and white chocolate chip-packed crumbs,
and two kind of frosting!!
it's a real winner, man.
here's what i did to make it, so you can have some at your place,
and impress all your friends:
preheat your oven to 360℉
in a medium-sized mixing bowl, mash together:
2/3 rd cup brown sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 stick (8T) vegan butter substitute;
add in:
2/3 cup non-dairy yogurt,
and stir well.
next, drop 2/3 cup vegan white chocolate chips
(y'boi king david has what you need);
1 cup+ wild mini blueberries (these are far superior to commercial high-bush bloobs)
2 1/2 cups a.p. flour;
4 T tapioca starch;
1 tsp ea. baking kapowder and soda;
1 cup non-dairy milk.
stir gently to combine, and spread into a greased 9" springform.
bake it for 35-45 minutes, or until the center is truly set up and solid.
cool it off, and then we'll worry about frosting it.
i love single layer cakes.
i do.
only because i do most of the cake-eating around here,
and i can't keep killing myself with giant cakes.
also, i'd hate to waste 'em,
and i need to make 'em,
so one layer at a time maxxximized my productivity relative to my waistline.
word up.
and that frosting?
chocolate frosting is so choice.
and so thick.
and so dreamy.
the only way i ca think to improve it would be to add freeze-dried
powdered blueberries into it,
so it activates a superfood superdeliciousness that defies description.
in you stand mixer,or equivalent set-up,
3 cups powdered sugar;
1/3 cup cocoa;
1 stick vegan butts;
pinchie-pinch of salt';
1 tsp vanilla;
1/3 cup non-dairy milk.
that's expert magically majestic chocolate hottness for all your frosting needs.
of you add a tablespoon or two of powdered bloobs to half of it?
now it goes to eleven in all new dimensions.
think of it as simultaneous alternate realities overlapping in the best possible manner.
try it for yourself. you'll see.
am i working all day today?
you bet i am.
are we time traveling into tomorrow one hour faster than usual?
i believe that most of us are in fact doing just that.
shoutouts to saving daylight and wasting sleep.
in the meantime, before work, there's a whole lotta dog to walk.
there's fresh baked bread in the oven.
i've got a bellyful of smoothie pushing nutrients to the tips of all my parts,
and all of it is moving along according to the secret universal plan.
i can't see it, but i know my role in it-
to choose the actions that promote my health and well-being
and aren't against my own self interest.
a.k.a the definition of straight edge P.M.A.
i've got it,
and it's all really happening;
never quiet, never soft...

No comments: