that ultramagnetic frenetic energy,
the supercharged ionic tidal waves of iron and blood...
yup.
it's a full moon.
all that werewolfen berserker fury,
wild woodsly animal savagery,
and barbarian blitzkrieg blue-light bathing is now back on the menu.
tonight's special is the flip-the-F*-out-anxious-irritability.
with a side of temper tantrum and short fuse,
served on a hard bed you've made and now have gotta lay in.
ha!
it's all really happening.
uh-huh.
maybe you don't think that's a thing.
hey, y'know what?
that's fine,
lycanthropic lunacy doesn't need your faith in it
to continue to be a sword-length thorn in my side.
,,,for serious.
i'm over here wide wild eyed and weary,
aching in places i must've used without knowing it,
and snapping at every offered hand of help.
neighbors,
when the gnashing fangs of a ghastly, grisly, gory loup-garou
have grabbed hold of your worsening attitude,
and there's no getting away, what do YOU do?
what?
i didn't think so.
y'know what i do?
i doo-doo that freaky sh!t,
and i flip it up and rub it down like a loco lobo, yo.
that's the truth,
last night, i made sure to bring the noise,
and drop the homeopathic silver hammer of hottness down,
to temper my temper,
and tame the savage beast behind my bad behavior.
ugh!
it's tough being a pouty pants and knowing it.
because, as an adult and a semi-self-aware real life documentarian,
there's never a good reason, and absolutely no excuse to be a jerk.
the only tried-true-proven cure for caustic vitriol of the shapeshifting sh!thead variety?
simple.
check the teleport:
FULL FRONTAL FEEL-AWFUL FRESH-TO-DEATH
FALAAAAAAAAFEL FRIIIDAAYYYY!!
yup.
if you aren't about it,
you're missing out on all that is great and good and right in the world.
what's going on up there?
the same thing that went on right here:
kaBOOM!!!
falafel is in my top three.
real talk.
especially served up the way i put it down,
like,
i get it poppin' the precise way it's s'posed to be.
what're the specs?
take a look-
-
a smear of garlic-laced garlic hummus;
thin-sliced fancy tomatoes;
mixed salad- curly parsley, big cilantro leaves, chopped scallions,
red cabbage, and lemon juice- fully activated and SO crisp;
paper-thin red onion ringlets;
pickle chips;
sliced and drained pepperoncinis;
pickled jalapeno;
fried balls of burly, chunky, chick pea perfection,
eight per sandwich, as i've found that to be the optimum falafel bite ratio.
hmm?
what is in the falafel ball mixture?
a can of drained chick peas.
a quarter cup of garbanzo flour.
two tablespoons of flaxseeds.
two tablespoons of wheat flour.
one lemon's juice.
a quarter cup of cashews.
a big punch of parsley.
and equally big punch of cilantro.
three big ol' cloves of garlic.
half a small red onion.
threeish glugs of olive oil.
cumin, cayenne, black pepper, thyme, ground coriander seed,
and a whole mess of that GPOP, of course.
is there a reason for making them so complicated?
actually yes.
the fry-up can be a real sunovab!tch, and a triple binding agent gang-up
makes the whole hand-rolled ball of mashed and smashed togetherness
hold up ten times as well in the face of that superhot oil.
also,
i let 'em sit all day in the fridge, getting their sh!t together.
...and not for nothin', but the exxxtras all taste pretty damned expert
when the crispy-edged fried flavors all combine as one magical, natural,
druid-infused animorphic sorcerous summons of spice and beans in my mouth
hot oil is dope.
golden orbs of gonzo garbanzo grit and garlic are dope.
the latter needs the former,
but i desperately need both.
it's an ecosystem of edible expertism that occurs right here
in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
and which culminates in complete comestible combustion
on special friday nights.
why?
because falafel tastes best on friday.
...word up!
-
where were we?
oh, right-
and tahini sauce,
with GPOP, and lots of lemon juice and the babiest bit of warm water,
stirred into the precise consistency that makes my whole body shake with joy.
i'm not even kidding.
i LOVE falafel.
huh?
oh, yeah.
that IS sriracha, too, because the boomfire isn't hot and loud enough
without also adding some spicy sauce, suckas.
yeah!!
ah,
yes,
and now i bet you wanna know about the sprankles?
ok.
that's sumac.
if you're not already all aboard the sumac express,
you've gotta get with it,
get on it,
and get into it.
sumac is to falafels what air is to lungs, guys.
without it, what flippin' use are they?
mmmhmmmmm.
-
two dollops of sour cream, duders.
yeah.
that's right.
two dollops, tossed right in there,
with a cup and change of flour,
and a pinchy pinch of both baking powder and soda,
and a smidgen of salt,
and warm water, in roughly half a cupful.....
all that stuff, just to have a hot halved holder for dinner.
i mean,
those flatbreads that the falafel is resting on are ELITE.
but it's that cream that makes it that way.
i pulled it into five portions,
and rolled 'em out with lots of flour,
as the dough was necessarily wettish.
true story-
you want wet dough if you like soft folds without cracks on your sandwich.
and each flat circle got pan-fried over high heat until the puffs popped up.
i mean,
you always know it when you see it,
and it looks like it's ready, because it is.
oh, yeah,
i made one without sumac, first, by accident.
dang.
and the sumac was sittin' right next to it, waiting patiently,
and quietly,
to activate all the nutrients.
but i got so distracted by the boiling oil
i skipped it.
bush-league laughable mistakes, man.
i'm not immune to 'em,
but i sure as sh!t amended my method immediately afterwards.
that's a part of learning, anyway-
you have to make mistakes,
just as long as you don't make the same ones twice.
(says the double-divorced duder who has thrice upended his full-time tattoo career-
go ahead, take my advice...i'm clearly not using it)
hahahaha.
awwwwwww.
-
falafels, guys.
that's the remedy.
it's been a minute since last i made 'em,
and i was looooong overdue for a 'guini or two of finely-tuned tahini terrificness.
i got what i was after.
and i'll tell you what else-
it got me pretty pumped about open-faced flatbread sandwiches this summer.
i'm just sayin'-
grilled veggies and grilled f;atbreads and sauces and outdoor fires?
it's almost time,
and while i'm definitely in no hurry to have the future get here any faster than it already is,
it's nice to have something waiting for me when we get there.
-
tonight is the night.
the fullness.
the refractory moonlight,
and it's chilly illumination,
will be soaking us in the ricocheted rays of cosmic calamity and coincidence-
there will be afflictions and maladies of the blood and humours,
of that you may be sure.
it just so happens, i'm ready for it,
there're falafel antibodies and reagents working overtime to undermine
the monstrous motion of our massive satellite overseer;
never quiet, never soft.....
No comments:
Post a Comment