STAR WARS DAY!!!

neighbors,
i like star wars.
a lot.
now,
before we have to get into some fan-vs-fan opinion-based speculative trivia sh!t,
let me also say i'm not as insane about it as i used to be-
*gasp*
yeah.
in some ways responsible adulthood;
sandwiches and pizza;
the crush of grown-man business;
and the very busy big action and bodily brutality of my really real life
have turned down the volume a bit on science fictional universes....
just a little bit,
take it easy,
i haven't forgotten how expert it still is.
in fact,
i guess you could say the force awakened in me today.
oh, c'mon.
today is the day.
may the fourth be with you,
because it's ST^R W^RS D^Y!!
the thing is,
it's also sandwich week,
and that means there's a perfect convergence of excellence occuring as i type,
a midichlorian masterpiece of balanced light and dark sides, here and now.
duders,
i get busy up in here, and that's no joke.
check the grand-moff-type teleport....ummmm.
forget the teleport,
let's make the jump to hyperspace:

do or do not, my dudes, there IS no try-
and i doo-doo that scruffy-lookin' wookie-cookie bantha-baking wizardry.
mmmhmmm.
i really do.
all day,
i'll be having bad feelings about this, or that,
and discovering amazing smells,
and really stepping in the batnha poodoo.
that's what it's all about,
and by tonight?
we'll have a whole new trilogy to tune to with our tastebuds.
you WILL be excited.
what?
what are you?
a toydarian?
mind tricks don't work on you?
ok,
well, then, how about flavors? those do anything for you?
i hope so.
because only a sith wouldn't be psyched for a whole day of this.
what do we have for cookies?
oh,
y'know,
no biggie,
just four kinds of hottness of the first order.
check it:

gluten-free coconut and white rice flour wampas,
with chocolate chip eyes, flaked coconut sprankles for fur,
and cocoa horns and teeth.
that's that new hoth-ness, for sure.
oh, c'mon-
in between the front and back, there's whipped coconut creamy filling,
because all those treats are sandwich cookies.
you know they HAD to be.
rules is rules, kids.
always.
next up:

jedi crawnchers!
chocolate sugar snaps, with that whoopie pie creme in the middle,
a gentle blend of chocolate and cream chee' and sugar and crisp edged excellence,
with that knights of the force flair kapowdered  across the top of each,
in light and dark styles.
expert!
oh MAN!
the dark side dark-chocolate-filled fresh-to-death stars, tho:

you had better believe they're full operational,
and the laser-lens focusers are cut out cookies,
dropped in place post powdering, for maximum planet-destroying dopeness,
and last but not least,
a little light and lively butter cookie bounty huntin',
with citrus everywhere:

mandalorian mandarin orange buttercrisps!!!!
there's zest and juice and extract all over 'em,
and they're of no use to dead, kids.
shove one right up your pit of carkoon!
boba fett may not have done a single actual cool thing in the movies,
but these cookies might just mitigate a bit of that unmodified clone angst.
*
i made each one up, guys.
i did.
sorry.
no recipes were necessary. i just used the force.
i an tell you there's more than half a stick of butteish in each,
and about cup of sugar and two cups of flour, per batch, too.
other than that,
it was mostly mixing and mashing, tinting and tainting,m
rolling and cutting,
and stenciling,
...which involved much more cutting, and way less fun,
until the finished products became clear.
i could sense some serious hottness,
and i knew that before breakfast,
i'd be throwing at least one emperors down some weird tube
into the center of a spacestation with enough power to vaporize him into electricity.
yikes.
oh, and i used a whole jar-jar of applesauce, i can tell you that.
whaaaaaaat?
hahahahaha.
meesa likey dey, duders.
awwwwwwww.
*
i'm double celebrating,
and i'm grateful for the time i have been given to do so.
i've got crabtreepio, and my padawan ampakin d-walker,
and we're going to spray fingertipfuls of force lightning all around this whole place,
and destroy a super-stardestroyer
like a group of superstar rogue squadron nailed-to-the-X-wing pilots,
straight out from the clouds of bespin to the forest moon of the woodsly goodness.
yeah.
today is the day,
and if you're not an A*-hole,
you're probably celebrating, too;
never quiet, never soft.....