roger roger.

duders,
ST^R W^RS D^Y was a good one-
may the fourth was definitely with us,
and we were attuned to the living force like jedi masters.
for realsies.
now,
i spent most of the morning making fancy cookies,
and yeah, if we're being honest.
i also spent a good deal of time in the late afternoon making sandwiches....
but,
in between all the cooking hottness,
it was totally my day off,
and it IS still sandwich week,
and ampy-d and crabtree and i hung out pretty flippin' hard,
all of us, together, for the whole entire day.
so,
it was good,
despite the very wet weather.
and the very busy food creation schedule i set for myself.
i think part of the time-crunch was that, despite a decent amount of pre-game prep,
i set my sights on the level eleven berserker barbarian battle-beast tier,
and that requires a whole bunch more work.
mhhmm.
i mace windu-doo that freaky sh!t.
ha.
what's star wars without a trilogy, am i right?
i knowwwwwwwwww.
so i couldn't just crush a single sexxxy sandwich.
no way.
i had to do a triumphant trio.
rules is rules.
that's what's up, and that's how it happened.
check the teleport:

i've got a FAT feeling about this!
days ago, i started marinating some superfirm,
very drained and pressed molto tofu in white wine viunegar
and lemon juice, with oregano, black pepper, and sea salt-
y'know what that makes?
marinated tofu- duh.
but, y'know what it very barely resembles, with a little imagination?
chee'.
and you know what that is for?
yuuuuup.
the first sandwich, y'all:

BOBA FETA!!!
woooooo.
kalamata olives, over spinach, with red onion, and pepperoncinis,
plus,
that loosely accurate tofeta, steamed,
and drizzled up with a bit more marinade, piled up and pressed down
for a damned good mixed-pickle semi-ferment explosion,
straight from the bounty huntin' buns of slave one.
freaks and greeks, guys, that's what was up.
word.
next in line?
a new hope for my mouth:

TUSKEN TUSCAN SAND(people)WICH!!!
almond-ramps-parsley-garlic pesto, nootch-blasted and extra-olive-oily,
smeared heavy on the bottom of the bun,
followed by a thick slab of gigantic vine-ripened tomato,
a steam-activated and seasoned, oil-seared square of tempeh,
with a slice of daiya provolone melted on top, with caramelized onions,
and even MORE of that pesto!
italiano explosivo experte.
oof.
two big action burlies in our bellyholes got the carbonite coma settin' in-
so how could we possibly still have a whole 'nother 'nother other one to do?
well,
that's easy-
because too much is the right amount.
obvi.
and that's how we do it;
we closed out the series with a sith mauled savage, impressed.
(subtle pun reference for my all nerds out there)

QUI-GON GINGER-CARROT SEITAN!!!
boom.
carrots and ginger and sesame oil and rice wine vinegar and garlic and soy sauce,
tossed together and pureed into a pulp-
then, left to stew in it's own juices all day.
sometimes, to make a dressing, you add water and blend it up-
but we're brutish, over here in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
so we kept it chawnky, and let the true flavor do all the hard work.
we put the sauce down first,
then cukes, and pea tendrils.
so crawnchy.
then a cut-out circle of seitan, fried in superhot sesame oil,
and covered in MORE orange excellence,
with shredded snow peas on top too.
neighbors,
that's the FIRE from the far far away and long time ago jauns.
real talk.
we crushed the dinner scene,
we dominated the drizzly day,
and we phantom menaced the night, as well.
you can't beat a low-key high-intensity celebration.
that's kind of our style.
-
also,
i made all those buns. yup.
slow proofed with new yeast, overdosed on agave and flaxmeal,
fired up and hand-formed to size by eye,
and by the template all these 'guinis followed.
i've got a system for executing the new hottness.
it works when you do it right,
and it filled my body up all the way to the outer rim.
no jokes.
i crushed the crap outta myself in under twelve parsecs.
recognize.
***********
also,
after breakfast,
i might've munched up a little elevensies.
uh-huh.
in more ways than one.
yeah!
a little supplemental secret 'guini goodness,
to refuel a bit after all the sauce-blending i'd been busy with.
check it:

the one good part about ampy-d always comparatively sleeping in?
her first is my second breakfast.
wooooo.
double brekkie, with avocado, and sprouts and tomatoes,
and weirdie baconical circles.
yum.
those multigrain muffz, straight out of vermont's version of england are great.
that's no joke.
-
i LOVE eating sandwiches.
my hands have teeth, and my teeth have claws, and all of that is a metaphor for being
a F*ing diabolical deviant devourer of delights.
this morning was no exception.
check it:

twin homestyle bunzzzz.
garlic hummus, dry-fried tofu squares,
tomato, sprouts, and shredded carrots.
simple, delicious, awesome, filling, fulfilling, and fresh.
could i be more all about this sandwich week life?
naw.
i'm maxxxed out on magic, and running fast and hard on overdrive.
that's the truth.
*
huh?
what about tonight?
what ABOUT tonight?
oh.
yeah, kid,
i KNOW.
you think cinco de mayo is about to run up on your man all surprisey-like?
no way.
i'm reppin' daddy's house, el casa de papa, all day long.
and while i'm positive the battle of puebla
is only a footnote everywhere in all of old mexico outside of puebla ,
and up here in the norte,
it's just a college-age turdpile orgy of 'ronas and 'ritas,
i'm still all about that daddy's house of hottness jauns,
and there will be mexico in my mouth this evening.
believe it.
it's all really happening,
and i, for one, couldn't be more pleased;
never quiet, never soft.....