Sunday, September 8


on saturday mornings we have the big B.
of course, when it's also sandwich week,
there are rules we must observe.
i'm over here at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress stackin' stacks on stacks,
to accurately and reverently enact a morning ritual that celebrates
the sentiment of the weeklong festivities.

that's 3 waffles, and three different facets of breakfast, all on top of each other.
i mean, c'mon:

there's maple tempeh bacon,
and a sultry chick pea silken tofu omelette scramble,
and a crispy, buttery hash brown,
and real new hampshire maple syrup,
and microgreenery and lettuce and those FIRE oatmeal waffles.
too much is the right amount.
and this is that, to eleven.
it isn't always that i'm blown away by a sandwich.
unless it's this week,
then it's sensory overload all the effing time.
and this time?
this morning glory?
this megatower of terrific?
this is the TRUTH in excellence of execution all the way to the top.
the tempeh bacon is glorious.

make some:
1/2 cup of water;
2 T tamari;
1/2 tsp maple extract;
2 T maple syrup;
1/4 tsp ea GPOP;
1/2 tsp smoked paprika;
2 shakes of liquid smoke;
black pepper and LOVE, son.
the hashbrowns?
holy sh!t they're expert.

two shredded potatoes;
2 T red onion;
salt, and pepper.
drained of all water with a hard squeeze or three, and pressed into a circle form
(or freeform if you're not awesome)
and sizzled up in a hot pan with a pat of vegan butter on the bottoms,
AND a pat on TOP, too, bro.
it melts into the 'tato, and by the time you flip it to crisp 'em up?
you're a freaking miracle worker of flavor.
they just brown up.
like the name says.
hot pan, fat, starch, time, done.
the omelette is something else tho.
like, it's that new-new, and it's definitely a thing.
1/2 block silken tofu;
1/4 tsp ea GPOP;
black salt;
black pepper;
1 T nootch;
1/4 tsp turmeric;
1/4 tsp smoked paprika;
3 T chick pea flour.
pureed together, with 2 tsp olive oil stirred in,
and pan fried like an egg, dudes,
with the scramble too eerily accurate.
i added fire-roasted tomato sprankles and dried shallots to make it sexxxy.
and you'll know when it's done, because it's OBVIOUSLY done.
that's really all there is to it.
how freakin' dope is all this?
i mean. c'mon.
and nothing is that hard to make either, which is nice.
do you have a little circle waffle maker?
well, do you have a 4-square one?
i'm sayin'- you can probably figure it out.
the waffles were also super simple.
in a small mixin' bowl, combine:
1/2 cup all-purpz king arthur flour;
1 T brown sugar;
1/2 tsp sea salt;
1/3 cup oat flour;
1 T unsweetned cocnut yogurt;
3/4 cup non-dairy milk;
3 T melted vegan butter;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1 1/2 tsp bakey kapowder;
1 tsp vanilla-
stirred, rested, and poured into exxxactly 6 perfect waffles.
you can't beat that!
and real new hampshite maple syrup and avocado and lettuces and all of that
make it SOOOOOOO dope.

i could've made it less overboard,
but i respect and honor the make-believe traditions i created.
i'm really messed up in the head, i'm realizing.
there's probably a whole lot more to say about that,
but even the fun principles i set for myself demand total adherence,
and that causes a whole lotta problems for everyone all the time.
i rep a hard style,
and it's slowly shrinking my life into a small ball of weird idiosyncrasies.
just what we all wanted, huh?
ummm, sure;
never quiet, never soft.....

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