Sunday, September 8


y'all ever listen to reggae?
man, i do, and often.
probably because i'm old now, i think.
it's super easy to ignore, and most of it seems so much less hippy
than the rest.
plus, y'girl sister nancy wrote a hook that inspired generations of hip-hop heads.
if you know, you know, and if you don't?
well why don't you use the device you're looking at this on to find out, dudes.
we're living in the future over here.
and sister nancy definitely influenced the F* out of this sandwich:

that's a BAM BANH MI LAM!!
get it?
a jamaican-style  banh mi, bruh,
jerk tofu!
mango-habanero salsa!!
smoky-lime-sriracha mayo!!
cucumber and avocado and cilantro and little green sprankles.
sandwich week is for the people, give praise and thanks.
lemme tell you about that salsa:
marinate the following all together for at least an hour:
1 fresh squeezed lime's juice;
dash of salt;
2 T finely minced red onion;
2 tsp coconut sugar;
1 diced ripe juicy mango;
1 mincey-minced up red hot habanero;
1/2 lime zest.
and DAS IT!
BAM BAM!! (it's pronounced bomb bomb, neighbors, what'agwan?)
the bread was specialty jauns, just for this occasion.
knead up:
2 cups king arthur bread flour;
1 T unsweetened coconut yogurt;
2 T melted vegan butter;
2 tsp sea salt;
1 tsp coconut sugar;
1 pkg active yeast;
1 tsp bread machine fast-actin' yeast;
1 cup warm water.
i didn't even bloom the yeast first-
i just ran it like a champ, with a dough hook on my stand mixer,
and beat it up on low for 11 minutes,
then let it double in size.
while it was rising i preheated my oven to 400℉.
you're gonna wanna punch down your dough, divide it in 4,
and stretch out long loaves, arranged on parchment on a baking tray,
an inch apart.
they'll rise up and get together and that's a good thing.
i oiled the tops, slit 'em, and let 'em rise another half an hour.
and when i baked 'em?
i hit the oven with a few tablespoons of boiling water 2x.
like, once after the first five minutes, then again at twenty minutes,
and at 25 minutes, they were golden and great.
did i toast the loaves whole in the oven later to warm 'em up?
i did.
did i then split 'em, and pan-toast the interiors in HOT coconut oil?
that's expert, kids.
like, crusty and soft, and ready for a slather of smoky sriracha-lime-mayo!
that's 1/4 tsp smoked paprika;
a dash of cayenne;
a dash of Garlic Powder;
a teaspoon of sriracha;
2 T of vegan mayo;
a dash of lime zest;
and a teaspoon of lime juice.
it's wet, but it's DOPE.
i drizzled some on the bread, and some on the veg, and i am pretty psyched about it.
....and how about that jerk tofu?
crispy-edged, spicy, aromatic, savory, and sweet.
just like you want it to be.
what's the deal?
it's like this:

first, toast up the following spices:
1/4 tsp ea:
cumin, coriander, nutmeg, ginger, smoked paprika, dried chili pepper powder;
1/2 tsp ea: thyme, dried parsley; paprika, crushed red pepper, cayenne, black pepper;
1 tsp Garlic Powder;
a dash of cinnamon...
add that to some some brown sugar (like 1 1/2 T),
and add salt to taste.
i took half of this blend, added it to 2 T organic non-GMO cornstarch,
and dredged 4 fat slabs of exxxtra-firm tofu in it to coat 'em all the way up.
they look SO good with those spices on 'em.
fried on a HOT pan, with raw coconut oil ready to sizzle up,
you'll get a crispy-crusted great-smellin' set of rectangles in no time-
did i also hit 'em with a little lime juice and extra paprika?
i like it like that.
one flip, when the spices are browned af but not burnt,
and the interiors won't get too dry-
that's expert.

and with cucumber, and AVO-F*ING-CADO,
and pea shoots, and little spranks, and that SAUCE, and that SALSA,
and a whole lotta cilantro??
that's how you make 'em know they belly full, but them no hungry no more.
big ups, massive.
i made too many sandwiches already,
but today's the grande finale,
so i'm relieved af and excited, too.
what's for dinner tomorrow?
prolly a sandwich.
i still have at least four more BANGERS on deck.
too much is the right amount, and there's no escaping it, kids;
never quiet, never soft.....

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