all the beige.

i want to eat all the food.
all the time.
always.
forever and ever.
and that's the problem.
i have too much to do,
and not nearly enough time to do it all.
however,
no matter what is on the schedule,
i'm steady making exceptions, and providing exemptions,
and offering up exclusive preemptives for any expert
one-two-three-or-four course mealtimes that might pop up
throughout the preplotted course of my day.
(tasty treats get preferential treatment, and are allowed to cut in line, every single time)
yup.
^i'm like that.
i think being awake too much makes me hungrier.
is that a science thing?
i think it might be.
i'm sayin',
at 4:30 a.m. today,
yet again,
at the windswept winter whipcrack of today's wee-est hours,
my sweet handsome darling doggy-dog was whining,
wide-eyed, and ready to race out into the icy deathtrap of a driveway
that ma nature fashioned from a deluge of downpouring drips and drops,
followed by a fastbreak lightning flash-freeze.
get me?
it's treacherously dangerous right outside my doorstep.
so,
i didn't get any sleep,
and then i nearly got my neck broken on a patch of invisible hardened water;
and while my main man crabby crapped his head off on an ice slide in the garden,
i was wishing i was soundly asleep,
dreaming of tofu.
instead,
he's back in his bed, snoring SO loudly,
and i'm typing away at this little complaint for you to look at.
yuuuuuck.
okay?
okay.
but,
how does that tie in to eating all the food?
well,
when you're up early,
you can really get a little more time invested into that first meal.
and breakfast is important, or so they tell me-
you all already know i LOVE my Tea 'N' Toast,
but when i can hit it with that leisurely upgrade jauns?
i gotta, and i do.
check the surely-early-shirley-type teleport:

mmmmmmmmmmm.
all the things.
and i'll eat them all up.
and then i'll have seconds,
and then i'll have thirdsies,
if i haven't already devoured every last scrap by then.
i just want to be eating every minute.
and honestly,
i think my shark-gluttony has spread to every aspect of my whole life.
i want all of the everything,
and more of it after that.
yikes.
that's a tall order.
i doubt i can get EVERYthing i want,
but that gives me a good reason to avoid having fun-
i've got much much more sh!t to do.
*
also,
coming home to all the beige foods is pretty nice.
what?
oh.
that's real.
teleport:

tofurky?
so beige.
stuffing?
beige.
mashed 'tatoes?
yup......beige.
and gravy?
c'mon.
don't be dumb.
ampy-d freaked it off with some brussels, asparagus, and onions,
to spice it up, and add a splash of color, an' that.
....it was all delicious,
but, as usual, i had three helpings,
which wasn't very helpful to my midesction.
sure,
my bellyhole was stuffed full up,
but,
that's a LOT of beige.
and beige makes your butthole fat.
that's real.
-
so,
i'm fat again,
because too much is the right amount,
and moderation hasn't been invited to my forties.
it's an official snub,
a severing of diplomatic ties,
a cold-shouldering O.T.L.;
and that's just about as serious as you can get.
i'm filling in all the blanks;
i'm stuffing food into all the empty spaces, places, cracks, creases, and crevices;
i'm running around earlier than ever;
i'm doing more things that need doing,
with less concrete tangibles to show for most of it,
except for the tightening of my belt, despite letting out a hole or two.
damn.
it's all really happening,
a no-holds-barred trough-feeding shark-swallow-style smorgasbord,
and the repercussions are concussive,
and the reports are percussive,
and i'm big-upped and getting more massive by the moment;
never quiet, never soft.....