new year, new hottness.

what the F* is gluten???
ha.
i know what it is, neighbors.
c'mon.
don't be dumb.
however,
i also know that there isn't any in the first sexy cake of the new sexy year.
check the teleport:

yeah!!!!
oatmeal, vanilla beans, white rice flour, xantham gum,
and two kind of sugar, raw and light brown,
for a rich soft, tapioca-moistened magical crumb,
scattered throughout with a smattering of shattered dried cranberries.
gluten?
why bother?
we've already got all the goods gathered together
without wheat stopping by for a cameo.
you'd never know it though.
no grainy gritty sh!tty suckhole punishments are allowed in my oven.
i want that smooth cakey taste.
i need it.
it should be dope, even if it's different.
that's my goal,
and that's where i aim when i set my sights on burly bakery barbariansim.
hmm?
i know, right?
but,
it gets better, just like it always does-
on top of that spongy circle of real-time 360-degree high-def dopeness,
there's light, and i mean, light, as in: airy like a gossamer fairy,
vanilla creamy frosting swirls and whirls and blops and blarps.
mmmmmmmhmmmmmm.
that's not enough, though, for a new year treat, is it?
no way.
too much is the right amount.
so,
we activated the sprankle game to eleven,
and let the accents speak louder than words.
ha.
silver sugar sparkle glitter,
AND candy snowflake crystals,
AND diced dried cranberry bits.
yuuuuuuuuuuuup.
the first day of our sweet leapin' sixteen,
and there's already turbo-new-new hottness for our faces in every available direction.
we don't just like Folk Life,
we love it,
and we live it,
and for the record,
today and every day,
it's all really happening,
and that's the whole entire point;
never quiet, never soft.....