last meals.

so,
i said goodbye to my thirties last night.
mmhmm.
and,
i did it the only way i've ever wanted to-
by stuffing my big dumb face FULL of delicious food.
yeah!
check the teleport:

holy sh!t, neighbors-
all the southern comfort,
all the northern italian influence,
all that gravy,
and so much vegan self-asuredness
that i'm sure the smug satisfaction was emanating off of me in waves.
a savory cornbread-semolina waffle,
with rosemary, oregano, garlic, onion, thyme, sage, dried mustard,
and a ton of black pepper,
fired up in my brand-spanking new belgian-type waffle maker
(my old one, a throwback to my past life aptly crapped out last night,
and i had to run out to insure success for my fond farewell.
timeliness and poor/pefrfect timing aren't underappreciated around here)
on top of that, there's southern-fried seitan, from scratch,
in a new batch with just a bit of bulk from some firm-as-F* pureed tofu, too-
covered in cornstarch and cornmeal breaded, with herbs an' sh!t,
then pan-seared all nicey-nice in butterish AND oil.
expert.
we got the green leafiness all set up tooo,
those garlic'd collards are so sexy,
and when the gravy hits all that just right?
it's the TRUTH.
and i'm just sayin'-
how do you top that?
c'mon.
what are you?
an A*-hole?
there's a picture with answer right above this.
you top it with caramelized red onion sprankles.
duh.
don't be dumb, duders.
but,
that's not enough.
it never is.
too much is the right amount,
and i take that to heart.
and i take my dinners to eleven-
i got busy, and made it all even better with black eyed peas,
all buttery soft and smooth,
sauteed with shallots, garlic, and spinach.
yum.
and then,
just to add a little coolwater crawnch to the mix,
a napa cabbage, radicchio, parsley, and scallion slaw.
damn.
i didn't miss out at all on flavors, kids.
and i don't miss my thirties, either,
although,
i started them with WAAAAAY more hair than i'm entering this decade with.
womp womp.
huge quantities of food.
huge quantities of years past.
i like excess in most things,
or else,
complete abstention.
i have a system in place for celebrating,
and it works when i stick to the plan.
food is the best part of every day.
shared and prepared with partners, it's even better.
i'm lucky to have a dinner date most nights,
and i'm not just talking about crabtree.
my homemakin' homegirl ampy-d is pretty great,
and our mutual love of gravy keeps us happy together.
how else could you explain it.
damn.
*
it's all really happening.
i'm getting older,
but not much fatter.
i guess i can live with that;
never quiet, never soft.....