Friday, January 12


dark chocolate.
like a double-fudge brownie.
have i got your attention?
i hope so.
i made a cake.
well, yes, you're right- that's not in and of itself impressive.
i do make a LOT of cake.
but, this cake was different.
i mean it.
it's rich, it's thick, it's deep, it's dark, and it's got ALLL the chocolate hottness,
and three times the raspberry activation of those that've come before it.
i made some mutha-F*ing expert chocolate sexxxy-sexxx,
and i need you to just look at it:

so much chocolate.
and so much good-lookin' luxurious extra-sexxxiness.
i don't always get the feels when i have a slice of cake,
but i sure as sh!t got some exxxtra-large emotions over this one.
real talk.
the edges got crisp like a brownie.
the interior was deep moist decadent devilish-style darkness.
the top is pure melted berry-infused ganache boomfire,
with cacao nibs,
AND shaved dark chocolate,
AND three kinds of frosting,
AND freeze-dried raspberries.
too much is the right amount.
so, do i practice what i preach, bro?
you tell me.
i can't adequately detail how dope this one is.
but i can accurately detail how you might make it at home.
so, let's start with that:
preheat your oven to 365℉
in a medium mixing bowl, cream together:
1 stick (8T) vegan butter;
1 overpack'd cup dark brown sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla;
next, fold in:
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce.
mix well,
and sift in:
1/2 cup cocoa mixed in with 2 cups flour;
and 1 tsp ea. bakin' powder and soda.
add 1 cup non-dairy milk,
and stir well until it's all combined, and battered-up.
pour that thickness into a 9" greased springform pan,
and bake it for 30-40 minutes, or until cracks form across the top and center.
it's ok, and actually even preferred, if it's just this side of finished-
so that it's got that fudgy brownie middle that makes all the ladies swoon,
and the gentlemen twirl their moustaches.
when i'm letting 'em cool, i pop the spring on the form immediately,
so it can air out more,
before i flip it onto a rack and let it decrease in temperature even further.
then it's time to decorate, and i LOVE that part.
vegan ganache is basically melted dark chocolate and a non-dairy milk emulsifier.
you can fancy it up with vanilla,
and activate some powdered sugar, too, to create a smoother, firmer finish.
i do those things.
i also added 1 T powdered freeze-fried raspberry dust to 3/4 cup dark chocolate chips,
and 2 T soymilk, with 1 tsp vanilla,
and melted it all over low heat before adding 1/2 cup thawed frozen raspberries,
and crushing those into that hot melted black lava.
that's what's all over the top, and it's over the top, but nowhere near far enough-
cacao nibs added crunch.
the shaved chocolate just looks tight af.
i had that light chocolate frosting, and that betterthanevercreme form my berfday cake,
but i whipped up some no-measurement chocolate raspberry jauns that blew my mind
right out of the top of my head.
that's no joke.
my consciousness was floating above me while my body
continued to shave chocolate into the mixer....
dried raspberry powder, a tablespoon of grated choxxx,
a dash of vanilla, a fat pat of vegan butts,
and powdered sugar by the approximated cupful, whisked to high heaven-
and the very next thing you know,
you've got mauve magic making every single part of your life a little better.
wordimus prime.
you like how i added those dried raspberries to freak it off?
me too.
it's the exxxtras that make it expert, man.
rules is rules.
i'm pressed for time.
i'm stressed for time.
i can't stress enough that time is the most valuable commodity we've got.
and time is money.
and money is time.
and the way we spend both had better be improving our circumstances,
or we're misspending both.
my good buddy beau hit me with something like that,
and it's stuck with me since-
you'd think that barely sleeping would help, and it does,
but only inasmuch as what i get done in those moments i'm awake.
there's more to do, more to make, more to eat, more to say, more to see,
more to be, and i don't know where i can fit any more into each day.
here's the catch-
i have to be in specific places, for specific durations, and when i'm there,
there's a limit to what can happen in those exact locations.
and until i ca be in two places at once, or three, or four,
i'm unlikely to be satisfied with what i accomplish in one span of dark-light-dark-again.
i'm not stopping,
i'm not relaxing,
i'm definitely not vacationing;
i'm making a hell of a go of it,
and until there's nothing left to do,
i'm just going to keep grinding myself down to dust.
every minute counts,
and i'm counting every minute;
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: