y'feel me?
you should, because that's F*ing expert.
real talk.
on it's own, from-scratch bread is a joyous gift from the oven.
a little later on, with add-ons and mix-ins,
it can become a blessing from the breakfast deities.
ha!
for realsies tho-
good bread makes better people,
and even more importantly-
good bread makes better breakfasts.
that's some true story sh!t, neighbors.
do y'all like the big B?
yeah?
good!
then lemme introduce you dudes to some seriously grande gluttony...
check the french-toasty-type teleport:
c'mon, man!
the toast is tight and tilty and toothsome and terrific.
no jokes.
and all the rest?
well, it's just plain ol' amazing.
awwww.
let me tell you a little MORE about it.
-
*
PAIN GRILLÉ A FRANÇAIS!
-
if you've got some slightly staled, sorta hearty, extra burly bread,
that's what you're gonna wanna use.
the sprouted wheat jauns i repped was just about perfect for frenching some toast.
25% fancy wheat in my otherwise tried and true bread process,
left for dead for a few days after being baked, to soften and thicken and mellow.
here's the thing about really real sourdough- it lasts, if you wrap it.
(that's what she said)
and honestly, i eat a LOT of bread, but i bake more than i eat by a decent margin.
so there's always croutonably french-uppable ends hanging around here.
i like that, because i can use that;
and putting purposefulness to my products is pleasing to me.
so, cut yourself some sizeable slices, and let 'em hang out while your batter blossoms, bro.
-
in a mixing bowl large enough to fit all your sliced bread,
whisk together:
non-dairy milk ( 1/2 cup per 2 slices);
with ground chia-flaxmeal (1 T per cup of s'milk);
and egg replacer (2 tsp per 2 slices);
and a T or 2 of nootch;
cinnamon, nutmeg, agave nectar, vanilla- all to taste.
let that thicken up with all those agents acting in concert
to make an eggless excellence that'll have you hollering to heaven
about the next-level hottness you've concocted for your morning glory.
soak those slabs of sourdough (or whatever non-sourdough bummer bread you're using)
on both sides, until they're sopping with sauce.
then fry 'em up on medium-high heat, in a puddle of melted vegan buttery pats-
while waiting long enough to flip 'em that they don't stick to the sides....
guys!
that's the big business right there.
topped with crisp pink lady apple slices,
with a little exxtra cinnamon and powdery sugar sprankles,
all over the top of those treats, glazed with real new hampshire maple syrup.
that's mandatory.
if you aren't effin' with that, i'm not effin' with you.
united stateside new englanders may be a miserable lot of bastards,
but our tree-sap-suckin'-sippin' sauce is some old time Folk Life back-to-the-land freshness
that really saves the scene for a lot of us.
*
and then there's those potatoes.
skin-on chef's whites, slow-roasted from room temp to 400℉,
with olive oil, and salt, and pepper, and garlic and onion sprankles.
yup.
that's the thiqqq-chunk GPOP equivalent, and it's flippin' rad as heck.
when they're golden, you transfer them to a hot pan, drizz' on 'em with oil,
and sizzle them alongside some diced onion.
activated with smoked paprika and GPOP and black pepper,
and once everything is crisp and caramelized,
that's when you blast the ho'sauce all over 'em, and let that soak,
and glaze 'em through the hot hot heat of that pan, man.
if you don't have green onion, you're effing up.
the sprankle game is essential here, kids.
yummmmmmm.
homeboyfries give me emotions, dudes.
*
.....and so does that AVO-F*ING-CADO, friends.
you need it.
i hear it's so good for you.
right?
and it's for sure so good for your face while you're putting those nutrients in there, too.
that's definitely a thing.
on the ones,
if i have it, then i've gotta have it.
oh, c'mon now- you know what i'm sayin'.
*
lastly, but for certain not least among my brekkie feast-
that mountain of tofu scramble is the TRUTH!
word up.
i used lite firm tofu.
which, while not my usual density or diet style, turned out perfectly.
with a little exxxtra cooking time, it does it's job just as well.
sauteed with diced onion, red, green, orange, and yellow sweet peppers,
until all of those little vegetable bits are soft and supple of something-
high heat and oil are what i do,
but i don't know if i'm actually doing a good thing,
or if i'm just in a hurry to get allll the things into my mouth faster.
scramborghini ain't sh!t if it doesn't have the following:
turmeric, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, smoked paprika,
pink (or black) salt, and cracked black pepper.
that's the blend, broskis.
i fired spinach into it, too,
because too much is the right amount,
and i love a big production.
yup. i really do.
i'm like that.
red onion and burnt exploded tomato sprankles,
all over top of some purple kale?
c'mon.
i HAVE to doo-do that luxxxurious overdoo-doo stuff.
it's an integral part of my infinite nature.
***********
the days are unfolding in a flurry of foodstuff.
there's tattoo time and dog walking time and exercise time all factored in, as well.
the thing of it is- what's for dinner is the only real question i want answered.
i'm no longer sure if my passion for hobby home-cookin' is enough.
then again,
is there such a thing as enough of passion?
i doubt it.
events unfold, and menus emerge.
everything else is a means to a meal.
that's the truest story i've told in an age;
never quiet, never soft.....
No comments:
Post a Comment