ONE-HANDED CLAPS!

dudes.
i didn't even do most of it.
and it turns out, i'm disinclined to a supervisory role, too.
hmm?
oh.
right.
coffee cookies, kids.
that's what i'm talking about.
we made 'em,
and ate 'em,
and thoroughly enjoyed 'em....
that's real.
also, i mostly actually didn't help much.
guys,
one finger- the middle one-
is giving me the middle finger SO hard.
and it's effing up EVERYthing.
which meant using teamwork to make the dream work.
yeah.
kayla took point on the cookies.
and she set up the shot.
and she took the photo.
basically, my understudy stole the show;
and very proud we all are of her...
check the teleport:

albie rock's school of cookie-genesis?
WORD!
we magna cum laude as F*, b!tches.
the recipe is straightforward.
semi-simple, and very tasty.
here it is, for all y'alls' enjoyment:
-
*
COFFOOKIES!!
-
preheat your oven to 375℉
-
in a medium metal mixing bowl, for aesthetic purposes, combine:
-
1 stick (8 T) vegan butter;
1 cup large-crystal raw sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 tsp coffee extract;
1/2 tsp salt;
3 heaped T instant coffee.
-
moosh it up all noicey-noice, and sift in:
-
2 1/2 cups flour;
1 tsp ea. bakey powpow and soda;
2 T agave;
-
you'll need to add non-dairy milk, 1 T @ a time,
until the dough sticks together when squeezed.
you don't want it wet,
but you definitely don't want it crumbly, either.
when you get that stick-togetherishness just right, you'll know it when you feel it.
i mean that.
-
now,
you've gotta roll it out to a 1/4" thickness on a well-floured surface,
and cut out your shapes.
we chose small circles, so that there'd be MORE of 'em.
that's no joke.
too much is the right amount, man.
mmmhmmmm.
2" rounds, times four dozen,
baked for ten minutes,
and reaching a gentle puff-up i did NOT see coming,
but welcomed with a broad grin anyway...
yes.
they're a little grainy from the sugar,
they're soft from all the s'milk, too.
the edges are crisp,
the flavor is deep,
and the quantity is large.
and yet, rules is rules,
so you know we had to activate some exxxtras, neighbors.
word.
mocha icing was the absolute right call.
cocoa powder, coffee and extract and vanilla and s'milk, too.
drizzled just enough to help a few tributary snow day sprankles do their thing.
*
guys!
i mentioned that i hate blood,
and that it's ranked in a two-way third-place-tie just the other day.
well, the universe was listening, apparently,
and bumped my lil third-place displeasure right out of the way,
and took the silver medal, with NO silver lining with a ferocious whirlwind.
mmmhmmm.
and as usual nature wins with a blowout victory.
yeah.
we've got wild stormswept woodsly post-bomb-cyclonic hurricane-force gales
that are so flippin' insane,
they're changing the pressure-balance INside the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
so much so that candles are flickering and prayer-flags are wavin' all around...
yup.
that's windier than the windiest,
and it's likely one of the reasons mount washington holds onto
that worst american weather title, too.
ugh.
yuck.
sh!tty.
it makes my semi-severed finger seems less horrible,
even though it's rendered my whole hand useless.
i mean,
at least the massive bandages wrapped around it keep it warm,
despite the blood that's STILL seeping out making it colder and wetter.
what. the. F*?!
everything is A*-hole,
but also,
it's all really happening, which is presumably the point, right?
i guess so.
*
also,
it's my last day-
uh-huh.
this is it.
the very last day i'll ever be 41 years old.
tomorrow, the numerical designation increases by one,
and it'll be a great big funtime exxxplosion...
suuuuuuuuure, it will....
let's all our collective breath, and hope harder for better times;
never quiet, never soft.....