that's a fact.
i love 'em a whole bunch,
and i enjoy the holy hell out of them;
but i don't eat them nearly as often as i should.
when i DO munch up on some tasty between-breadliness,
i go all in with the flavors and the textures and all the notes
of my sandwich symphony come together in a crescendo in my mouth.
dudes,
check the teleport:
SANDWICHES DO IT FOR ME!
fries?
yeah, we got fries.
big deal.
they're not especially special, they're just baked potatoes.
hmm?
well, yes, they're still delicious in their simplicity,
and yes, i know you all love 'em, too.
i'm just not about to go gushing in every direction about the virtues of spud sticks.
i'm still gonna eat 'em, and enjoy 'em, especially when they accompany a sandwich.
...which they are.
i'm just far more impressed with that slaw!
that's a thing.
-
a purple kale chiffonade,
with paper-thin shredded purple and savoy cabbage,
scallion, and slender shaved carrot sticks,
with pink salt, black pepper, a dash of apple cider vinegar, and vegenaise.
that's the colorful crawnchy hottness that really revs my engines.
i'm just sayin', compared to beige starch rectangles, it's really very attractive.
-
that sandwich, tho.
bro, just LOOK at it:
c'mon, neighbors-
that's some sexxxy sexiness.
for starters, the bread was tip-top-notch.
homemade sprouted wheat sourdough, buttered and pan toasted;
and those're the BIG slices because i wasn't raised to be a lil baby b!tch.
you do what you do, loud, fresh, and hard, until it's done.
rules is rules.
and homemade from-scratch sourdough is all we've done around these parts for years now.
legitimately, i can't say i buy 'store' bread anymore.
mostly because i don't, y'feel me?
word up.
have you ever effed around with grilled leeks?
you should start today.
they're complex, man.
like onions, but for condescending elitists.
i like that a lot.
and do they go well with the pickled jalapenos?
don't be dumb.
they go great- the briny spice of those peppers, and the gentle, almost creamy green onion,
with that rich blackened char taste.....
it's basically expert af.
yup.
there are thick slab sandiwch stackin' pickle planks on the bottom,
topped with more of that slaw for vegetable crunch and cool raw fiber fury.
then, there's seitan bacon.
probably the least awesome way to use seitan, in my severely slanted seitanic opinion.
again, i got the prepackaged organic jauns,
and again, i did not freak out with delight about it.
if i was a new vegan, and incompetent in the kitchen, and a total bummer of a person,
i might get psyched on this stuff.
the problem for me is: homemade tastes better.
case close, y'know?
the smokiness was nice, i just wish i'd had the good sense to simmer up some tempeh instead.
next time, that's how it has to go down.
and speaking of going down-
i definitely got dirty with this tofu, folks.
mmhmm.
in a hot pan, with a tablespoon of unrefined coconut oil,
i sizzled the sh!t out of that breaded big baddie like a barbarian invader.
that's no jokes.
ruthlessly, recklessly ringed around the center of the heat source,
coated in a haphazardly handsome crust.
guys,
i'm only trying to tell you that that tofu was the TRUTH,
in it's most savage stormswept savory disposition.
yumyumyum.
-
have you ever mixed up some of that breading-type sh!t?
it's so easy!
cornstarch, flour, salt, pepper, and herbs or whatever-
the cornstarch gives it a crispness, the flour gives it body,
salt and peppr seem to be mandatory additions to th team every time,
which makes it kind of a rule, and you already know how i feel about those.
...then all the add-in tasty-tastiness does what it does from within!!
i added GPOP, obvi.
and nootch, of course.
plus, smoked paprika, and cayenne, and ground mustard powder,
then freaked it off just a little with a pinch of sugar to help it get caramelly-mellow.
i did that, so it would doo-doo that,
and it turned out to be the sh!t, son.
which is what's good on my plate.
***********
dudes!
sandwiches are good.
wind?
honestly, i will forever hate it.
especially if it's very very cold out there.
on the ones,
there's a hill on our walk,
somewhat unavoidable as a portion of almost any circuit through the woodsly goodness,
and if there is even the slightest breeze,
it somehow transforms and magnifies into a bitter biting knife-edge of
quicksilver torture for the hundred or so yards of road that funnel the speedy air
directly at my F*ing face.
it's my least favorite leg of our daily journey.
crabtree hates it, too,
but his imbecile brain doesn't compel him to propel himself forward,
so his inactive unhappiness just prolongs the displeasure.
pretty cool, right?
no, i don't think so either.
today, however, before i get to drag him by the head through the trails of trees,
he goes to get some shots at the veterinarian's office.
it's like payment in advance for his reliably poor performance
on his daily exercise regimen.
then again, i'm literally paying them to zap his dumb face with preventative medicine,
and the i'm still going to wrestle with his obstinence when we get home.
damn.
i guess i get to lose a few battles today, before the day even begins in earnest.
it's ALL really happening-
these expenses and expenditures and expanding spans of time and space.
me and my little terrible terrier have got a relationship.
that's just a nice way of saying we abuse each other's patience,
but, like, on purpose, and consistently.
yeah;
never quiet, never soft.....
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