Monday, January 29

MIDDLE MISSING!

man, i effed up a chocolate raspberry cake.
i did.
i should've know it was gonna go wrong,
but i ignored the nagging doubts at the edges of my mind,
and instead ran against time constraints and consistency obstacles,
which ended up bestowing me with a too-soft center in my treat.
yeah.
it happens... especially when using frozen fruit.
that's real.
unhappily,
 even with a longer baking time, the middle mas a muddy mush.
i'm telling y'all-
frozen raspberries are my enemy.
they are.
this is not the first time i miscalculated the hydration involved
especially since the batter was initially really flippin' thick.
it ended well.
i'll say that.
the edges all baked up like the best brownie you've ever eaten-
crispy on the contact surfaces, spongy and fudgy as the interior got gooey-
and FULL of deep chocolate flavor, and berry tartness,
and heavy-duty sweetness, too.
dudes!
check the adapt-and-overcome-type teleport:

CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE CHIP RASPBERRY RING BROWNIES BY ACCIDENT!!
yeah!!!!
the recipe is a little difficult to list accurately,
since an entire 3 1/2" center was excavated away.
there are three kinds of frosting,
AND raw sugar sprankles, however.
that's right.
too much is the right amount,
even when not enough has just happened to happen to the entire middle.
i think a higher baking temperature, for a longer time,
with convection circulation might've cured the ills that befell this baddie...
but it tastes F*ing great anyway.
and, the raspberry creamchee' betterestcreme, whipped chocolate,
and chocolate raspberry swirls on top didn't hurt it one little baby bit, either.
neighbors-
i'll tell you what i did,
in the hope that you can adjust for my mistakes-
it's like this:
-
*
YIKES!
-
preheat your oven to 365℉
-
in a medium mixing bowl, thoroughly mash:
1 cup demerara sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 stick (8T) vegan butter;
2 tsp vanilla.
add 1/2 cup cocoa;
4 T non-dairy yogurt.
next, stir in:
1/2 cup lil mini chocolate chips;
2 1/4 cups a.p. flour;
1 tsp bakey kapowder;
1 tsp bakin' soda;
1/2 cup frozen raspberries;
1/2 cup non-dairy milk.
stir it up, spread it out in a pan-
i'd imagine a rectangle brownie pan would've been SO much smarter,
but i used a 9" springform, and that's where the mudbutt all went wrong.
alas,
even after an hour of baking, the innermost ring was still sh!t.
it sunk, and sucked, and suffered the price of failure-
that's correct.
i gave it the ol' middlectomy, and let the brownie battery big action do the rest.
it's good.
tastewise, it's actually freakin' incredible.
that's good news, at least.
try it yourself.
the flavor combination is at the top of my list;
i'm interested to see if you can make it better.
also, save me a piece, please.
***********
y'ever have one of the weird nightmares where you start out somewhere believable,
like the grocery store,
but in a short span of subconscious deciphering,
and smash-cut-scene sequences,
you're suddenly trying to find a whole entire misplaced human being
from inside of a small medicine cabinet,
looking into bandage wrappers, frantically,
for the make-fun mocking voice that's calling for you?
no?
hmmm...
that's weird.
because i had that happen last night, and i woke up alarmed.
i didn't know where i was at first....
and almost immediately, i felt sorry.
ha!
shoutouts to the 90's indie rock,
but also,
shoutouts to less-than-restful slumber.
i've got bags under my eyes, guys.
also,
i decided to decree a '20 push-ups every time i have to pee' mandate.
uh-huh.
and rules is rules,
not to mention that hydration is essential,
so we'll see how it goes.
no sleep, weird dreams an sets on sets of pushing up.
january is ending on kind of a sour minor key note, bro.
that's no joke;
never quiet, never soft.....

1 comment:

Beznarf27 said...

It's refreshing to see a blogger show their stuff ups. Kudos on sharing your holey brownies. To be honest, they look better than my non holey ones.