Thursday, January 11


few ingredients, a little patience, and almost NO skill required.
i was kind of skeptical, too, dudes.
i mean, after all, it's superfancy unnecessariness that i'm usually chasing after-
yet this time around, i opted for complicating the back end,
and letting the up-front effort go with the flow...
that's real.
i'm talking about gnocchi.
that's nyawk-ee in case you were unsure how to say it.
it helps if you twirl your moustache while you're speaking,
because everything sounds better with a twirling moustachio, bro..
oh, and if you instinctively said guh-nah-chee?
you're fired.
pack your stuff, and get outta here.
ok. ok. OK.
potato dumpies that are also ribbed pasta-style barrels which are also delicious.
...and easy?
i'm almost ashamed of the relative simplicity of my dinnertime eliteness,
and the lack of stress in my kitchen while it was created.
honestly, as a matter of policy, in regards to the big, sexxxy luxury on my plate,
and the languid manner of production that was responsible for it,
i have to admit that i had a little bit of fun with this new experience.
eating gnocchi is good, but it turns out that making gnocchi is great.
all the accoutrements that accompanied those grumbly-dumples
were marginally more trouble than the main body of the meal.
yeah, man, that's no joke;
this was a big deal, with big flavors, but only a little bit of work.
check it out, via the molto-molto-type teleport:

g'head and drink in that vision, kids.
a from-scratch batch of my own favorite style of pesto,
a custom kitchen-made bowl of pasta-ish,
fried and toasted bits,
fresh leafy greens, and magentas,
and fried brown tomatoes...
holy sh!t.
this is the hottness, bro.
homemade pasta dough isn't difficult if you know what to expect-
gnocchi dough, on the other hand, is even simpler.
for real, it's just a big ol' heap of stuff, mooshed together, and shaped.
 y'wanna know just exactly HOW easy?
it's this easy:
in a medium-sized pot of salty water,
boil 5 medium sized potatoes with their skins still on for about 30 minutes.
drain and peel those bad boys while they're still hot,
and taking care not to scald or cut yourself, grate or rice them onto a kneading board.
sift over the top:
3/4 cup flour;
1/4 cup semolina flour;
1/2 tsp salt;
cut that into the warm potato shreds, add 2 T olive oil,
and gently, but firmly, pack and the flour and potato together until it forms
a dense, pasty, silly-puttyish log of starchy goodness.
divide it into sixths, roll each one into a 1/2" wide snake,
and cut those up into 1" lengths.
a quick roll on a fork will give 'em the traditional gnocchi lines,
but you've gotta be firm and fast, gentle rolling won't leave a mark,
and slow rolls erase the lines as you make 'em.
yeah. you're right. i really should document all the process.
it's the last thing on my mind when i'm cooking,
especially while rushing around with a glove protecting my still-damaged digit.
i'll have to enlist someone else's skills at photographic documentation for that part.
yeah, well, right....
at any rate, y'just toss those into a big ol' pot of hard boilin' salty water until they float,
and they're ready to rock.
a spoonful of that pasta water, to thin out a big scoop of pesto,
and those drained potato grub-butt-lookin' yummers, and you're a grand champ, easy as that.
of course, that's nowhere near enough, is it?
too much is the right amount.
and that pesto is too much to handle, kids.
in your food processor,
which is an indispensably necessary accessory of the modern age,
1/2 cup almonds (i used some thiqqq-sliced ones, because that's what i had on hand);
one extra-large bunch of basil leaf and stems;
1/2 cup parsley;
1/4 cup nutritional yeast;
1/4 cup olive oil;
2 cloves garlic;
pink salt; black pepper;
if it's too gritty, add more oil.
if it's too dense, drop in a splash of water.
puree the whole thing until it's a flippin' paste, which is what it's flippin' called, man.
there's not a lot to it, but there's so much happening.
it'll be heavy, but like i menetioned. you've gotta thin it out and toss it with the pasta.
pesto is expert. gnocchi are expert. we are expert.
that's a thing
toasted almonds for crunch?
damn. they're perfect. a little toothy crawnch in with all that squish.
olive oil-fried sliced garlic sprankles?
they compliment the almonds like fraternal twins.
bitter arugula under that savory pesto?
the elements are all aligning here, guys
charred brown tomatoes?
holy sh!t, the grilly blackness, the sweet brownness, the bright tomato flavor,
tucked in amongst a mouthful of everything else?
and what about those chiffonaded raddichio ribbons, huh?
isn't that s'kyooooot?!?
i know!
for a heap of blarpity blops covered in green gunk,
i sure do think this plate is lookin' hella lovely.
i even hit it with some microgreens, at kayla's urging,
and i'm glad i listened.
easy is one thing, but if those superfancy unnecessary jauns can be achieved,
well, rules is rules,
and complicating simplicity is what i do best.
i've been tattooing like a fool these days.
sharing time and space with some pretty good folks.
january, man.
who knew?
i'm assuming it's because it's an eleven year,
which probably only makes sense if you do secret universal mathematics....
which i'm adding up, and multiplying, and carrying the ones over on,
in order to attach meaning to this otherwise cruel cruel world.
like my man tommy corn says-
there's dust and gas there, there's us over here, and good and bad luck in the middle.
that's chaos. that's my b.
^^^y'need some order to things.
a series of sequential circles, overlapping and echoing like fibonacci spirals,
to make a pattern of predictable increases,
a cost-of-living adjustment,
a mutha-F*ing eleven year.
that's it.
this it it
it's right now,
and it's all really happening.
that's the whole point;
never quiet, never soft.....

1 comment:

Beznarf27 said...

Excellent tutorial! Can't wait to give this tasty looking meal a trot around the dance floor. I hope you and Kayla and Crabtree are having an excellent start to your New Year. It's hot over here and we are working hard in our garden so I haven't had much time to read or comment lately. You have some really brilliant vegan tutorials here that are perfect for vegans who love to experiment. Thank you so much for sharing them :)