COFFEE BREAK!

decaffeinated.
that's what i have to do if i'm going to do it.
yeah.
i eff with coffee, sometimes.
and no, it's not usually a great idea.
but,
if it's had the caffeine content drastically reduced,
i'll get busy with that big business.
huh?
oh, i know, right?
the purists will all call bullsh!t on decaf, and that's cool,
because they can still use their preferred super-high test jauns they like.
i'm not the overlord of caffeine, man.
i'm just sayin' MY heart will exxxplode if i get too deep into the caffeine zone.
i still made a coffee cake though.
as in: coffee cake, not cake for having with coffee.
although a double coffee cake with a cuppa would be tiiiiiiiight....
here's the thing, guys-
coffee cake is burly, and it's thoroughly rich like rappers are, too.
this one has alllll the melty chocolate chips in there as well,
which is pretty flippin' expert in my opinion.
that fudgy chocolate really adds a powerfully mocha undertone,
and that ties the whole thing up in a neat little package.
i'm serious.
check the teleport:

COFFFFFFFFFFFFFEE BREAK!!
word.
it's SO moist, and it's sweet, of course,
and it's got an acre of coffee flavor all up in it to win it.
and it's winning, for sure....
you want the deets?
i got 'em for you.
here:
-
*
COFFEE CHOCOLATE CHIP CAKE!
-
preheat your oven to 350℉ on convection if you're so equipped,
or 365℉ if you're not...
-
in a mixin' bowl,
cream up:
1 stick (8T) vegan butter;
2/3 cup sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 tsp coffee extract;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp ground espresso-roasty beans;
2 T instant coffee.
-
whisk in;
2/3 cup non-dairy yogurt.
-
then sift in:
2 1/4 cups flour;
1 tsp baking soda;
2 tsp baking powder;
4 T tapioca flour;
2/3 cup mini dark chocolate chips;
1/4 cup strongly-brewed coffee;
3/4 cup non-dairy milk.
-
stir it all together, and spoon it into a greased 9" round springform pan.
bake it for 36 minutes like the chambers of wu-tang...
 -
it stayed steady on that fudge tip, b.
and that's dope.
the melted chocolate added a lot to the overall awesomeness.
but,
too much is the right amount,
and that meant we weren't done yet, man.
nope.
there's both of those drizzlers on top that really turn up the decadence to eleven.
real talk.
melted chocolate ganache is always tight.
coffee icing is hella thick, and rich, and sweet, and bold,
and that's exxxactly what we need to turn this into a thermonuclear supernova
of that new-new hottness.
yup.
it's just powdered sugar, instant coffee, coffee extract, vanilla, and coffee,
you know:
like how you make icing.
and you do make icing don't you?
no?
well,
then you're effing up and missing out and that's a bummer.
i'd recommend that you remedy that immediately/.
and what's MORE?
it tastes dooooooooooope.
that's real.
***********
anyway,
time is ticking,
and the days are racing past.
february was busy as heck, and that was good thing.
the studio was poppin',
the exercise regimen was on point,
the heart-shaped food game was tight and tilty af-
it was eleven times better than jaun-uary, for sure.
and yet, it all costs something.
it does, duders.
the big bummer was that i am holy hell on relationships-
yeah.
it sucks to say it, but true stories bear out in the telling.
between the absence of my sweet thang for the first two thirds,
and the epic disagreeable detour that comes from pitting wizened grisly wisdom
against youthful adventures.
i will eff up a good time quicker than hurry-up, b.
and it's SO foreseeable.
i'm just a creature composed entirely of infinite nature,
and precious little nurture.
it's the curse of the overachiever.
i'm not even kidding.
there's no time for fake ones, hair pets, coddling, and excuse making.
and there's no tolerance for wasting time.
i wanna work more,
i wanna do more,
i wanna be more,
i wanna love more....
too much is the right amount,
and everything else is pillow talk;
never quiet, never soft.....