i took cinnamon rolls,
skipped the cinnamon,
added raspberries,
and lost my mind over how F*ing awesome the results were.
...that's no joke-
they came out hot, and fresh, and seriously sexxxy lookin',
and once we added a DOUBLE drizzle of icing,
they surpassed my original idea, which was already pretty expert,
and went off the charts well beyond a perfect ten,
into the realm of some raging savage stormswept elite level-eleven new hottness.
i'm for real right now on some really-real talk.
check the february-first-type teleport:
WORD!!
dudes, it's a cast-iron spitfire bakery bomb;
it's a fruit-activated berry biscuit bonanza;
it's the best dang set of rolls i've maybe ever had .
yup.
and i ate half of 'em in one shot.
i regret not one bit,
although my belt may need to be let out a notch after that much shark-gluttonous gorging.
ha.
honestly, though-
these jauns were the ONES, on the ones.
look:
c'mon!!
yeah, that is a drizzly dousing of exxxtra icing.
i mean, too much is the right amount, y'know?
yeah, you know!
i'm not saying you need these, but, like, you NEED these.
and i'm about to tell y'all how to make that a reality.
ready?
here we go:
-
*
RAZZY BUNZIES!!
-
preheat your oven to 375℉
-
line a 10" cast-iron pan with parchment
-
in a small pan, warm up over low heat:
1 cup non-dairy milk;
1 tsp vanilla;
3 T vegan butter.
when the butter is melted, let it cool-
and stir in 2 tsp bread machine yeast.
next,
in your indispensable upright stand mixer, combine:
3 cups white whole wheat flour;
1 tsp vital wheat gluten (to help the dough stay tight and sturdy af;
1/2 tsp salt;
4 T raw sugar;
1 tsp cinnamon;
1 pkg ( 2 1/2 tsp ) yeast.
add the milky sauce to the dry stuff, and knead it on low for six minutes in a row.
cover it with plastic wrap, or a wam, damp towel, or whatever,
and let it rise for fifteen minutes.
-
meanwhile, make the interior spread:
1/2 cup brown sugar;
1/4 tsp vanilla;
2 T seedless raspberry jam;
3 T earth balance vegan butter;
1 1/2 T powdered freeze-dried raspberries.
mash all that up into a uniform paste, and get ready to rock, bro.
-
on a well-floured surface, roll your dough into a wise rectangle about 1/4" thick,
and spread the pasty pastry filling evenly across it,
leaving one long edge bare, about 3/4" from the end, so you can moisten it,
and let it stick to the rest when you roll it up.
i wrap my roll and freeze it for five minutes, to firm the whole thing up,
which really makes slicing into individual rolls a LOT easier and less messy.
cut the whole log in half, then each half in half, then each quarter into thirds.
yup.
twelve tasty triumphs,
one dozen doses of delicious,
eleven plus one parcels of pure-being berry bounty.
arrange 'em in your iron, with room to swell,
trim the parchment, for presentation's sake,
and bake those righteous rolls for twenty-five to thirty-five minutes,
depending on your oven, and how golden you like 'em.
heck. yes. neighbors.
they're honestly awesome,
and they only got better with icing.
uh-huh.
y'all ever had icing?
it's that extra-extra that makes these exxxtra excellent.
powdered sugar, vanilla, and non-dairy milk.
three ingredients, combined and stirred, and dripped all over the surface
in order to really activate a top tier of tasty sweetness that can't be topped.
...unless you add another 'nother layer of even MORE fantastic icing.
yuuuuuuuup.
i took my raspberry creamchee' frosting, and thinned it to a drizzleable consistency
with some of that non-dairy milk,
and add that to the party, as well.
and it boosted my buds with added fancy-pantsy pretty-in-pink magic, man.
mmhmm.
that's a thing.
what else could there be?
how about powdered freeze-dried berry sprankles.
F*ing right, kid.
rules is rules, and spranks are on the list.
das IT.
a good morning roll, to start a new month,
in pinky hues to get the valentine times kicked off from the very first minute.
that's what i'm about.
i do that. hard.
it's just how i am.
***********
i'm home alone for a while.
what am i gonna do?
oh, right.
all the same sh!t i always do.
OBviously.
because that's what's required of me in my daily responsible adulthood.
my sincerest hope is that these next few weeks are busier than average,
so that the missing pieces aren't as dominant as they feel at the moment.
the first day is always a bummer,
and the last day is the longest one,
but, if i can squeeze a heroic amount of productivity
into all the glaring empty spaces where that lovely face usually is,
the maybe the time will span faster?
damn, i hope so.
i'm happy that it's adventure time for my valentine,
but i'd be a liar if i said it was gonna be easy back here at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
and truth tellers can never stop.
nope.
so, here's to making the first two thirds of february into a werewolfen whirlwind of
wildly-wrought well-written warrior poetry.
it's all going to happen,
the trick is to channel the flow into the right and righteous course.
but as implied above- it's tricky;
never quiet, never soft.....
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