Tuesday, February 13

RED, BLACK, GREEN!

sooooo,
to answer the pressing question burning the brains of everybody here-
q. IS black bean spaghetti delicious?
a. not especially.
sure, it's not THAT disgusting.
in fact, it's pretty flippin' bland.
but, it's got that gluten-free bummer texture.
sorta gritty, kinda plastic, kinda not as dope as wheat.
yeah, yeah, it's healthy, maybe.
that's cool.
i'm not sayin' i didn't eat a ton of it,
i'm just sayin' it looks a lot cooler than it is.
sorta like the opposite of me.
no. wait. i look as uncool as i am.
....neat.
the pasta bowl, though, that punctuated my evening was tiiiiiiight.
dudes,
nate and i did name tattoos on some in-love lovelies.
yup.
i know what you're thinking- big deal.
people do that all the time and it is almos always ill-advised.
to that i say:
'maaaaaaaaaan, don't ruin it'.
theyare in love probably, and that was nice to see.
the gesture, in the moment is always so optimistic,
and that's the sort of P.M.A. i wish i had.
the guy makes italian food.
and you KNOW i like to talk about food.
so, we did, and i got psyched.
so much so that instead of skipping dinner,
i went RBG and molto italiano at the same time.
check the teleport:

RABE RAPINI ROBERTO!!
what's the secret to good broccoli rabe?
boil it for exxxactly two minutes in salted water!
when i learned that, it changed my actual life.
until that point, i'd bee resigned to hating the stuff, because it was so flippin' bitter,
it made even ME seem sugary sweet by comparison.
vegan sausages are good, because sausages taste good.
when they aren't made of d!cks stuffed into A*-holes made to look like d!cks,
and instead are just vaguely phallic veggie blops, they're actualy much much better.
just sayin'.
i got some from-the-store ones, and i'm not even ashamed about it at all.
fried garlic, and shallots, and blackened burst baby tomatoes all added a lot to the composition.
i cooked those dumb noodles like it said to, and that was alright.
no big deal.
but, to freak it off, turn it up,
and bring the entire flavor profile up to eleven,
i toasted and crushed some almond slices, neighbors.
yup.
expert activation ensued.
simple, but sexxxy.
sort of the opposite of y'boi.
i'm a convoluted and complicated head-on attacker,
but i am NOT the sexxxy sexbob-omb, broski.
maybe if i eat enough of this stuff, it'll infuse my body with that tasty man-peach karate?
i have my doubts,
but i had one heck of a satisfying supper.
word up.
***********
sunovab!tch-
i need a new bathroom.
actually, i need something of a new portion, or a repair, or a patch, or a problem solved
in ALL the bathrooms in my house.
that's real.
it would seem that i'm in the market for a builder-type, who does that sort of thing.
do you know a guy?
because i need one.
just sayin';
never quiet, never soft.....

1 comment:

kerrikathyfaith said...

Jesse can fix yo stuffs!