Thursday, February 8


holy smokes!
winter decided to stop by and drop a buttload of snow on top of us.
it'd been a while since a real thick blanket of flakes caked itself all over
the woodsly goodness and quieted down all the surrounding sounds
that normally echo off of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
it's nearly noiseless out there now.
the distant scattered scraping of a snowplow is the only indication
that i'm not all alone in a frozen arctic wasteland.
it was a snow day,
complete with snow magic,
steadily dropping inches at an impressively constant rate.
here's the thing-
a snow day sort of always implies that ANYthing could happen.
by anything,
i sincerely hope that there were not any greater-than-mundane expectations,
as we limited the big action to a severe pre-spring cleaning
of my calamitously congested edifice,
and, far less surprisingly,
a great big morning bake-up of bread and cookies.
that's about all i had happening yesterday.
and while i'm not known for my tidiness;
not by a damned sight, and not since i was born, even-
i sure do know how to apply a scorched-earth exorcism to all this extraneous sh!t
i've amassed over the past few years.
that's all there is to say, man.
...the baking was a bit better than average, i'll admit.
first off,
i've been baking my sourdough a little differently these days,
to extraordinarily improved results.
constant convection circulation and direct oven contact have made ALL the difference.
and rather than any cast-iron or glass cloche crap, i just blast the whole oven with boiling water,
and let those crusty busters really develop some pentosan power in that outer shell.
that's real,
and they're better than ever,
so i'm gonna have to stay this course and see where it takes me.
that's enough about the weather and the loaves.
we both know you're only here for the sweetest bits of baked greatness, right?
ok. right, then.
here you go neighbors-
c is for cookie, and t is for teleport,
check 'em both:

that's true?
well, if it isn't, it should be.
dirty domes of dark chocolate,
packed to the parabola with almonds, chocolate chips, and coconut,
covered in squinky pinky strawberry SAUCE,
and topped with those kyooooot valentine sprankles.
word up.
that's a lot of good stuff packed into each one of those.
i was ready for it.
hell, i made it happen.
and yet, i was still surprised at how expert they tasted,
even before the strawberry deluxe legitness hit 'em off with that sumthin'-sumthin' exxxtra.
i want you to make some for yourself, at your house, in your oven.
sure, i'll share mine- i'm not a A*-hole,
but don't you wanna a few dozen all to yourself?
i know you do.
here's the way to make that happen:
preheat your oven to 360℉
in a medium-sized mixing bowl,
cream together:
1/2 cup brown sugar;
1/4 cup powdered sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 tsp almond extract;
1 tsp coconut extract;
1 stick (8T) vegan butter.
crush that all up together, and stir in:
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce;
1/3 cup unsweetened medium flake coconut.
mix well,
then add:
2 cups flour;
1/3 cup oat flour;
1/2 cup chocolate chips;
1/3 cup crushed toasted almonds;
1/3 cup cocoa.
4 T maple syrup.
mix and mix and mix that up,
and form golfball-sized blops, hand flatten, and form into domes.
they just bake up better when they're preshaped, man.
that's a thing.
space 'em evenly on a pair of baking sheets,
you should have a few dozen + a couple exxxtra.
bake both trays for 11 minutes,
and allow to cool completely before icing.
and the icing?
it's simple, but it's amazing.
in a small bowl, combine:
1/2 cup powdered sugar;
1/2 tsp vanilla;
2 tsp powdered freeze-dried strawberries;
1-3 T non-dairy milk.
i'm a big fan of piping it out from a plastic bag with one tip cut off,
so that's what i did.
and the sprankles don't taste like much, but they look adorable,
and pretty food is always invited to my parties, bro.
rules is rules.
you'll be happy you made these.
you may also feel guilty, because there's no way you're only eating one or two.
so, apologize to your waistline,
because decadent overindulgent blarping-out is in your future.
sorry, kinda;
and also, you're welcome.
i've got more to do than there is time to do it this morning.
i'm still crushing push-ups for pee-breakls,
and i've added in this hour a day clean-up duty, too.
today, though, is a day for car repair and maintenance.
that's NO fun.
and since crabtree helped remove my brakelight yesterday,
i'm guessing he hated the thought of me having any money in my pocket,
and decided to help me get rid of it.
i'll add it to the list.
the list of reasons why he's the worst.
it's longer than the list of why he's the best.
only, the good qualities are weighted, and the bad are just a lame litany.
he's my dude,
and he ruins everything,
but he's my dude.
sometimes, that's all you get;
never quiet, never soft.....

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