Saturday, February 17


it's the year of the dog.
although, this and every other morning seems to be all about the dog, anyway.
this time, it's official.
now, every year on the lunar flip-up-and-over
i wanna make some sort of vaguely asian treat for the big day.
and, every year, i do that.
they're getting better, slowly but surely-
it's just that once a yearly practice hardly makes for perfection.
at any rate,
to celebrate the new moon, and lunar new year, i made some cookies,
and a nother 'nother resolution.
P.M.A. is a great focus to strive for in for 2018.
i mean, c'mon-
a Positive Mental Attitude should, if properly applied,
lift you up out of whatever bummer situation you're in.
it doesn't fix it.
but, proactive affirmative motion is progress,
and progress moves forward,
and as forward momentum builds, those bummers get left behind.
that's why we got that P.M.A. ...ALL DAY.
but it's not enough.
just to reinforce my mantra:
too much is the right amount,
i'm also adding a whole exxxtra element to my perpetual quest for self-improvement.
you have any idea how tough it gets trying to keep my composure?
for real.
can i take it to eleven all the time, and not get lost in the sauce?
can i state an informed opinion calmly from start to finish? (probably not)
can i feel things deeply and not let them upend and upset the delicate
and finely-calibrated balance between thoughts and actions?
i don'y knowwwwwwwww.
but, i've got to try to keep my composure.
runaway train was a terrible soul asylum song,
a cliché movie premise,
and an apt description of my emotional acceleration from initial idea
to stormswept cyclone somewhere around the second spoken sentence.
it's not an ideal model for socializing.
composure, man.
in the face of those few things that actually matter,
and in the midst of all the things that actually don't.
i think it's going to be hard, but i also think it'll be worth a lot more than the effort.
i also made some cookies,
which were such a bummer at first that i had to mess with the recipe a LOT
just to make something any good at the end.
....i hope that's not some kind of a harbinger.
then again, i stuck with it, and made it happen.
shoutouts to that P.M.A. right now, and for the rest of this dog year, too.
y'wanna see 'em?
i wanna show you.

we got coin-ish ones,
we got medallions with powdered sugar dog symbols,
and we got iced ingots with sossamon sprankles!
that's what's up, bro.
i'm not even going to get into the recipe-
i effed with it so much that i doubt i could even estimate what's what
or how much of it there was.
there is rice flour, and peanut butter, and tons sesame seeds,
coconut oil, vegan butter, sugar, agave, non-dairy milk, white flour, xantham gum,
salt, and sadness.
they tasted fantastic,
but they took forever to finally become something i could work with.
i hate when that happens,
but i looooved these cookies.
figures the tastiest sesame treats so far are the most mysterious, too.
i s'pose next year, i'll be starting from scratch again.
year of the dog, dudes.
the year of the flippin' dog.
and that's no joke.
i have a sneaky suspicion that crabtree and i
are going to spend even more time together as this year progresses.
he may be a deaf, dumb, self-destructive cannonball shark-bullet battle-beast,
but he's pretty reliable, and dependable,
so long as you're depending on him to be sort of a distraction.
the thing of it is,
he's always a distraction in the exact same ways.
so, that's pretty staid and steady, and predictability isn't a bad trait,
because we can anticipate the likely outcome every time....
that works for people too.
creatures of (bad)habits can be relied on to be unreliable.
i'm completely unimpressed by most people more often than not.

and while he's a whiny little side-eyed instigator,
i'm also pretty sure that that counts as communication, inasmuch as he's interested
and capable of such interpersonal interaction.
he's not sayin' anything i wanna discuss, but he's not NOT telling me what he wants.
stating your needs is kind of in the top five topics for being satisfied in any relationship, right?
so shoutouts to crabtree for being better at hanging out than most of us.
it's the year of the dog, neighbors.
and dogs do what dogs do-
their infinite nature is pretty open and up front.
if he sees or even smells a roadside mud-clot half-eaten sandwich?
he's gonna go for it.
nature wins,
and he can't help himself from helping himself to a helping of hurt.
literally, he is incapable of choosing otherwise.
even though the consequences are considerable, and long-lasting.
he cannot reason, and therefore he cannot be trusted.
sort of like some other folks i know.
ohhhhhhhhhh sh!t!
is that passive aggressive?
but, and i'll say it again, this isn't actually a food blog-
it's a real life documentarian dissertation of true stories of woodsly goodness.
moving on,
it's the year of the dog, not the year of the lil b!tch,
and thus i am unsure what to what level the limits of tolerance there should be
for those who are capable of comprehension and still choose to be a real bummer.
i mean, it stands to reason that if we can reason,
then there's no reason for it.
not for doing it,
and there's even less of a reason to accept it.
if you're no better than a dog, but also, like, not any better than a dog,
but also, NOT a dog-
i have to ask?
what. the. F*. is wrong. with. you?
is it a cynic's life you're living?
like, the old-school greek-style jauns?
i doubt that, although that was a tight dog reference, for the two people who get it.
it's the year of the dog.
it's an eleven year.
and it's all really happening.
so, where my dogs at?
and what's up with faithful friends?
what's poppin' with loyal companions?
where's the trust?
where's the communication?
and how does it get so tough, so quickly?
i love my people,
and i love my baby bully boy,
but in an instant-
in one decision, one choice, one action,
it flips to something else so HARD i hardly recognize myself.
keeping one's composure starts there, and starts now;
never quiet, never soft.....

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