Wednesday, February 6


check the teleport:

i doo-doo that dumpy dumplin' dopeness, dudes.
that's no joke.
i said the things, i did the things, and i was up early gettin' it, too.
i had dough rolled, filling fully ready from the night before,
and all the sauces set up and unified, ready to rumble.

sesame-bottomed fried vegetable dumplings are the TRUTH.
that's a fact.
and the way i do what i do means that i had a ton of 'em,
and a ton of asian-style dumplings for breakfast is sure to start the new year off right.
there are a few things that made these especially expert.
f'really realsies-
there are toasted two-tone sesame sossamon seeds IN the dough.
that's expert.
there are two-tone-toasted sesame sossamon sprankles
dipped on the bottoms of these bad boys.
that's expert.
there are crawnchy bits of veggies for adding onto the big bites of these flavor grenades.
spicy radish, crisp purple cabbage, pea shoots, a little cilantro leaf,
and scallion spranks-
you know that's tight.
exxxtras are what you need, man.
too much is the right amount,
and i had stacks on stacks of these guys all set to sear and steam and stuff.
i had to do two full batches.
there was just more dump than pan, man.
hey, check this, too:

refreshingly cool and hot at the same time.
cukes and sesame seeds and scallions and chinese chili flakes
and a dab of rice vinegar and a dollop of sesame oil.
so simple, but such fuego for maxxximum tastebud activation.
i get SO psyched about that stuff.
i went all out on a trip'-dip.
THREE sauces.
triple dippin' doses of different delights.
i had traditional dippin' dopeness-
tamari, rice vinegar, agave, sesame oil, black pepper, raw garlic, scallion,
Garlic Powder Onion Powder, and toasty sesame seeds.
i had sweet chili mae ploy dippin' sauce, with exxxtra chili flakes, lime juice, and cilantro.
that was great.
sweet and spicy and slippery and bright bright bright.
definitely a win.
and i had sesame sriracha and soy.
that's the business, bruh.
sririacha, stirred with toasty sesame seeds, and tamari, and a dip of green ho'sauce,
and just a touch of sesame oil.
MORE dippin' sauces for MORE flavor is how we go right to eleven from the start!
and the filling?
broooooooo, you had better already have guessed that it was perfect,
or you might be a little bit of a stoopidhead.
f'real, it's like this:
1 cup of shredded cabbage;
half an onion, minced superfine;
a tiny medium carrot, minced up all mini;
1" of grated skin-on ginger;
1/2 block exxxtra-firm drained tofu, crOmbled;
1 clove of crushed garlic;
1 tsp sesame oil;
2 T tamari;
1 T rice vinegar;
1 tsp ea GPOP;
black pepper;
3 T cilantro stems, chopped up small af;
1 handful cilantro leaves-
all cooked up on high heat, stirred often, and shaken about,
until you've got a browned and crumbly toasty batch of aromatic awesomeness.
i added sesame seeds, too.
i guess i was trying to get the most of those little teardrops in every single thing.
(i succeeded)
the wrappers were the same as always.
1 1/2 cups flour;
1 tsp salt;
2 T seeds;
1/2 tsp black pepper;
2/3 cup warm water.
kneaded for 11 minutes, wrapped and rested another 11,
then rolled on the flouriest countertop, and cut into SO many little 3" circles.
damn, friends. i had a LOT and i'm still psyched about that.
and how do i make them even better?
after i crimped and rested the packed pouches of power,
i gave 'em a shallow wet-up on their bum-bums,
and dunked 'em on a thin sheet of sesame seeds.
there's where that bottom crust of must-have hottness comes from.
i had 'em sizzlin' on a HOT pan, with a glug of blended sesame and vegetable oil.
after a minute or two, i splashed it with a few tablespoons of hot water,
lidded the whole thing, and let 'em steam until all the water was absorbed.
at this point, if you really wanna be expert,
you flip them over to brown on another 'nother side.
i do that every time, obvi.

so, i had dozens of dumps first thing.
i took cali and breezy out to lunch, too.
then we grabbed cohen and visited the greenhouses,
after which we picked up embry from coloring club (that's a thing)
and headed off to have lunar new year times as a team.
shoutouts to dylan for taking great care of crabtree while i was
super busy-busy doing all that important stuff.
of course i saved him some dumplings.
what do you think i am?
an A*-hole?
rule is rules, and you gotta spread the joy of the new year around, folks.
don't be dumb.
wood pigs, y'all.
it's here.
the new year of lunar lunacy.
the night was double dark with the moon blacked out
and that made the stars super bright.
i like that a LOT.
i was out stargazing in the windy woodsly goodness for a little bit,
thinking about the big action and the new hottness.
i wanted to do a bunch of those lanterns with the kids,
but the wind would've sent those firebombs directly at all the combustible everythings,
and i doubt that the lunar new year needed a four-alarm forest fire.....
so, we'll wait until it's calmer.
did we go out and have a 'feast', anyway?
of course we did.
chinese food for everybody.
or, at least, somebody who wasn't us...
on the real, my idea to do a thing with the gang was solid,
but the food was total crap.
oh well.
we shared an experience that was still great for all the family togetherness,
and that's the important thing, anyway.
i DO like those little maniacs a whole bunch.
we spanned time.
we had fun.
we spread the love around.
that's a good start to a moon unit, isn't it?
i sure do think so;
never quiet, never soft.....

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