Friday, February 1


here we go:
the first of the month.
we're on that new-new calendar page,
and it's the shortest and coldest and most romantic one!
today is the day.
numero uno.
the big premier.
and what's good about today?
man, i have NO idea.
i know i said the magic words.
i mean, i HAD to, right?
rules is rules,
and there's no good reason to skip out on the syllabic summons of good fortune.
word up.
so, i spit it out loud, firstly and foremost from my puckered lips:
rabbit! rabbit!
it's documented- i said it and i meant it.
so far, it's too soon to tell if it worked, but i'm gonna hope for the best,
while i wrap myself in another blanket....
it's freezin' cold, there's wind blowin' outside, it's hella dark still,
and i was up early, like always,
standing around shivering outside while my damned dog, crabtree,
took himself for an emergency sh!t in the deep snow.
on the bright side, he woke me up to take care of business,
because that's what a good boy does.
i smashed a path through FEET of ice dammed up along the rim of my kitchen roof.
i almost berserker-chopped the skylight ( i culdn't see it under all the ice)
but the Folk Life spirits had pity on me for a moment, and i just scared myself a bit,
whilst standing on a wobbly chair, wielding a forged steel axe,
spraying my whole head with shards of sharp frozen watery shrapnel!
relax, neighbors, i wore safety goggles.
i did.
i learned over the years that ice wants to blind me at every opportunity,
and i ain't with that at all.
i trudged through the well-below freezing span between door and dams,
and then i dragged the dog through the woodsly goodsly hillside slips and slides
of this icy arctic polar vortex situation outside,
and somewhere in there, in the interest of being cute,
and also adding a little exxxtra heat inside my house,
i also baked up a batch of blueberry muffins.
check the teleport:

y'boi is really getting the hang of the wheatless workings of treats.
f'really real.
some kids i know don't like frosting.
i don't understand that, but i can accommodate it.
so, instead of sugary sweet fluffy fresh-to-death dopeness on top,
i've got more substantial, and special cinnamon-coconut oatmeal stresuel doing it's thing.
bloobs and streus'.
that's the way to end january, and say hello to a whole new everything.
y'want a recipe?
i can doo-doo that for you:
preheat your oven to 350℉
grease a whole bunch of muffin tins.
(i ended up filling 12 regular, and 8 midi-muffs)
in a medium mixing bowl, with a pastry cutter or a fork, cream together:
1 cup sugar;
1 stick (8T) vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla;
2 T vegan creamchee'.
when thoroughly blended, stir in:
1/2 cup vanilla non-dairy yogurt.
mix well, then add:
1 cup bob's ap gf flour blend;
1 cup mama's gf almond flour blend;
3 T tapioca flour;
1/4 cup unsweetened small-flake dried coconut;
1/4 cup gf quick oats;
1 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda.
toss in 2 cups of big fat frozen blueberries,
and 3/4 cup non-dairy s'milk.
stir enough to combine it all into a slippery batter
(it might seem a little wet, but it's totally ok)
evenly scoop the batter into your tins,
and keep your bowl unwashed for a second-
now, add into it:
1/4 cup powdered sugar;
1 1/4 cup quick gf oats;
2 T dried small-flake coconut shreds;
1 tsp cinnamon;
3 T vegan butts;
2 T bob's gf 1:1 flour-
chop it up util it's a crOmbly mess of perfectly beautiful struesel,
and put that sprankle to the the tops of your muffs, man.
bake those blue blarps for thirty minutes, and let 'em cool before you try to take 'em out.
i mean it.
they're crumbly, but they're soft, and they're sweet, and they're reallllly effin' tasty, too.
these went down smooth.
i had a small hitch in my day, and it mostly fell apart,
so i ate these all myself.
well, not ALL of them, but most of them.
i don't even care, friends.
too much is the right amount, and that's no joke.
eating my feelings hasn't ever made them feel better,
but i have been so full all i could feel was a tummyache,
and sometimes, that IS preferable.
it's cool.
today is a new day, and a new month, and a new chance to be better at being better.
i'm ready,
and i've got cinnamon buns in the oven that're gonna boost em up and over the top
of this hard-styled cold-hearted heavy-handed friday.
it's all really happening, and that's just the way it's gonna be;
never quiet, never soft.....

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