Sunday, February 3


sixteen years of living life in the woodsly goodness!
that's right.
groundhog day marks the anniversary, and with that,
i'm another 'nother year deeper into mountain manliness.
did y'all know that the only custom from-scratch vegan recipe i had to my name
when i first moved up here was for my signature cookies?
albie rock bloxxx were the only thing i really could say i made up
specially and specifically for myself and my friends to enjoy.
it's true.
back then, i'd already been vegan for like, seven years-
but i wasn't any sort of expert vegan cook by any means.
i was using premade faux meats like crazy.
i was adding water to ready-to-go box mix all the dang time.
i was effing around with pasta and sauce three nights a week,
and eating out at the same four places every single weekend.
i'm serious.
i was vegan, but i was NOT dope.
...and we're talking about seven years worth
of veteran vegan victual consumption under my belt.
the cookies, however, were, and are, the muh-fuhhh'n TRUTH.
always and forever, i had that going for me.
and over the years, they've only gotten better and better.
i made 'em up fresh, and celebrated by myself with alllllll the warm, soft, sexxxy jauns
i cold fit in my face before tummyachin' took over.
too much is the right amount, and i took that sh!t to heart.
check the teleport:

dudes, these ones have almost all the things:
peanut butter! coconut! oatmeal! brown sugar! chocolate chips!
f'really real, i get so excited on cookie days.
the efficiency with which i create 'em is on some omega level eleven type hottness,
for sure.
it's second nature, and it's muscle memory and it's radical vegan spirit,
all at once.
i mean, look:

i'm a big fan of making cookies,
and these are the ones i'm most likely to show off most often.
y'wanna make some?
here's the plan, man:

preheat your oven to 375℉
get out two non-stick baking trays, ready to go
in a medium mixing bowl, using a pastry cutter, cream together:
1 stick (8 T; 1/2 cup) vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
1/2 cup sugar;
1/2 cup dark brown sugar;
2 tsp vanilla.
stir in:
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce;
2/3 cup natural creamy peanut butter.
mix well.
next, add in:
2/3 cup oat flour;
1/2 cup fresh-ground unsweetened dried coconut flake (no sulphured soft sh!t, ever);
2 cups flour;
1 tsp ea bakey powder and soda;
3/4 pkg mini vegan chocolate chips;
2 T agave.
knead it all up into a soft and pliable cookie dough.
you know what to do from here, right?
flattened golf ball sized blops are in order-
i opted NOT to fork-line 'em, in the traditional pb cookie style.
i'm a rebel, huh?
baked for 11 minutes.
cooled completely,
and drizzled with dark chocolate ganache-
the 1/4 remaining choco chips;
1/2 tsp vanilla;
3 T powdered sugar;
2 T non-daity milk, tempered over low heat, added to a pastry bag,
and striped across the cookies until they were all completely covered.
then i took it one step further, and hit 'em with those sparkle sugar sprankles.
why wouldn't you make them exxxtra pretty?!
i mean, rules is rules,
and ugly food is NOT invited to my makeout party, bro.
so, it's been sixteen years.
i've got a house, the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress;
and my very own art spot- AMPERSAND TATTOO.
and i can cook my actual A*-hole right off my body at an elite level of competence...
the days of pressed and pressured pre-packaged poop are no longer the only way i know;
and moreover, after all this time i've got grown-A* kids;
and even crazier, i've young blood to impress,
and crazier still there's this impending, upending baby girl on the way, too-
i've got wild warrior women walloping me at every turn.
and in between battles of wits and words,
there's the biggest love, and the most intense experiences of my (ever-lengthening) life
exxxploding outward from the epicenter of this woodsly goodsly wild werewolfen
berserker battle-beastly northern mountain life....
that's savage stormswept raging gypsy big business bellowing and blasting away
at my every damned day before sunrise until after sunset-
it's been one heck of a crusade, forging a place and a time and space to span
in the heart of an area that was SO much less hospitable when i first got here.
it's wild to think i might've had some small impact on the  community,.
just by intensely interacting and activating my alternative viewpoint to the common
consensus throughout every day in every place i go.
i mean,
really, i wasn't anything special when i first got here-
i was broke, broken, busted, ugly, but very determined to be dope.
i'm still working at it, hard-
and i'd like to think that the whole spot has evolved concurrently
to my own transformation.
co-evolution and compatible concentric overlapping circles of intention and invention-
the star-shaped central bright spot is right here where i'm standing,
and i am very grateful for the time i have been given to experience it;
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: