Thursday, May 9


did i eat a dozen homemade garlic knots for dinner at 8 o'clock?
how good were they?
molto italiano level eleven hottness,
and verrry garlic-centric, as well as totally expert.
that's no joke.
check 'em out:

garlic on garlic on garlic, with a little more garlic just to let 'em know.
garlic knots and masculine marinara from the future.
you want this recipe?
i have it, and i'll share it...
in your stand-up mixer, with the hook up on it, combine-
1 cup king arthur bread flour;
3/4 cup king arthur all-purpose flour;
1/4 cup + 2 T semolina flour;
1 cup warm water;
1/2 tsp ea GPOP;
3 T active sourdough starter-
let that all soak for thirty minutes,
then add:
1 pkg rapid-rise yeast;
1 1/2 tsp sea salt;
1 T finely minced fried garlic sprankles;
1 T olive oil.
knead it for 11 minutes,
until it's a shiny ball of slippery smoothness...
wrap it up in a bowl and refrigerate it for 12 hours,
slowwwwwwwwwly proofing it up-
preheat your oven to 385℉
stretch your dough into a log,
divide it in half, and then in half, and then in half,
and then divide those quarters in to halves.
that's 16 hunks of dough.
on a floured surface, stretch 'em out and tie 'em in knots.
arrange 'em on a parchment sheet,
on a baking tray a.k.a a cookie sheet,
so they can rise while the oven heats up-
i dusted mine with GPOP, black pepper, and nootch.
and then i baked 'em up for fifteen minutes,
then raised the temperature up another 30℉,
with that convection oven swirl...
man, that part was dicey, to be honest.
should i have just made the oven hotter initially?
how long did i bake 'em for, in total?
no idea.
i wanted them to brown up,
so i was just waiting around like a jerk while the light failed.
when they finally got golden, and i pulled 'em out,
i basted those bad knotty boi jauns with a whole bunch of melted vegan butter,
and they sizzled, dudes.
and then they got a lot MORE golden.
then it was time to turn 'em UP.
too much is the right amount, obvi-
exxxtra fried garlic spranks,
AND parsley tidbits, too.
word up.
and marinara for that somethin' somethin' elite.
i mean, really, neighbors.
just garlic knots
that's weird.
how about a little vegetable nutrients for cryin' lout loud!
here's a marinara recipe.....YUM.
that's good for you.
i ate a dozen blops of bread.
semi-sourdough salt and buttery knots.
i don't care, man,.
when you're feeling feelings, nothing goes down better than carbohydrates.
especially when you're a week deep into a no refined sugar situation.
i think carbs are not great for you?
i'm not sure, but it's just that exxxtra sugar that i'm avoiding.
and i DO like bread.
probably more than the average human, even.
i'm eatin' knots, i'm tied up in knots,
it's like that death therapy in what about bob?.... y'feel me?
i'm gonna untie some feelings,
and i'm also probably going to eat more bread.
i don't know what else there is to do;
never quiet, never soft.....

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