cinco.

amigos,
it's the battle of puebla day!
yuuuuuuuup.
cinco de mayo.
also,
it's the anniversary of DADDY'S HOUSE!
that's a thing.
a very seriously important thing.
...and if you don't know, you'd really better ask somebody.
now if only i had a sombrero, neighbors,
then i could fully activate this whole entire day with happiness.
it's impossible not to be psyched whilst wearing a sombrero.
i think that's actually a fact.
anyway,
here at la casa de papa,
which is to say, the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
we're preparing for a late afternoon, post-work cinco-style celebration.
uh-huh.
a fiesta of fresh loud hardness,
con fuego caliente, an' that.
i'm excited to cook up some homemade tortillas and rice and beans and sh!t,
and get rad on some gringo loco gastronomy without
any of the weak sauce of alcochol-besotted diaperbabyism of traditional
blanco A*-hole 'rona and 'rita jauns.
yuck, y'all, no me gusta.
it is in fact totally and absolutely okay not to drink,
but only if you like being by yourself all the time.
(spoiler alert: i'm starting to)
hermits and habichuelas and frijoles and hard-flippin' styles for miles.
that's what makes this sunday another 'nother exercise in really real life.
plus,
i'm listening to keaton henson, and i've got the volume up to eleven.
that way,
i can't hear anything besides the brutality of a sodden and downtrodden
bedridden bedraggled and brokenhearted batch of ballads.
sappy soundtrack attacks are the super sonic saturation that these walls needed.
i'm inoculating the insulation with intense intention, kids.
echoes of this kind of severe adult focus and communication will reverberate
for decades through the rough timbers and slanted ceilings.
i think that's a good thing, too.
if cloud seeding makes it rain on parades,
the sound seeding makes it rain on these ho's.
i'm all about that.
*
sherlock holmes.
that's my guy.
you ninjas all already know i'm SO all about that duder.
but i think my aficionado status is getting elevated up a notch today.
for realsies,
check the consulting detective teleport:

yeah.
i'm actually thrilled.
who's gettin' clues and eliminating impossibilities?
mmm-hmmmm.
it IS me.
i only ever care about getting expert,
and about overdoing it every single time.
i'm thinking i need a kickass magnifying glass now, too.
after all,
it would look great with a deerstalker sombrero, right?
***********
cinco, son.
a fresh five, like a backhanded b!tchslap across the mouth.
how's it going today?
like montezuma's revenge, friends.
it's a weirdly sh!tty and uncomfortable schedule,
and it's in a big hurry to blow on out of the lossest butthole ever.
...dang.
i thought today was supposed to be facil like sunday morning.
then again, that really only lasts until lunchtime;
never quiet, never soft.....