Wednesday, May 8

Tart Tuesday.

three kinds of tarts?
of course.
i mean,
what am i?
an A*-hole?
but i'm an A*-hole for tarts!
i'm positive that i'm doing something right.
i mean it.
ultimate hottness,
in triplicate.
check the flaky fluted pastry-crust teleport:
raspberry-cream-cheeseyish filled raspberry topped raspberry glazed tarts?
you'd better F*ing believe it, b!tches!!
that's homemade shortcrust, too.
i don't skimp on the ingtensive interactive participation, y'know?
being fancy in magenta is where it's at.
tart tuesday was off to a great start.
but i kept it rolling from there.
because i had to, neighbors.
too much is what i'm aiming for,
and i don't intend to miss.
check the small wonder-type teleport:
mini tartlets are so dope,
because you get a whole one to yourself every time.
vegan, expert, homemade vanilla pastry-creme-filled circles,
with a topnotch topcoat of slivered almonds,
toasted up with cinnamon,
and drizzled with maple-vanilla glaze,
all before a dirty dusting of confectioners sugar takes them to eleven?
...of course i'm serious.
and that was just the second helping.
i'm repping magic numbers in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress, y'all.
when i was younger,
i used to get a special gourmet treat from a bakery back home called marjolaine.
that's real.
it was about as vegan as i am handsome,
which is to say: not at all.
so after years and years and years that turned into decades,
it was time to stop dreaming it, and start being it.
my lamentation is done, mutha-lickas.
check the accurate reenactment teleport:
blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries,
all on top of a luscious custard,
sumptuously surrounded by a toasted nut-crust.
almonds, pecans, and coconut, for a free-standing salute to sexy foodstuffs.
yes indeed, my ninjas.
i doo-doo that dream come true sh!t.
i'll stay ugly, but these gems will stay dope...
...until they're completely devoured, anyway.
three kinds of tarts.
because just making two kinds is for weak-sauce waterbabies.
i'm all about that big burly baking business.
i'm innovating in my kitchen,
and making sure to do it with the will of a worthy warrior poet.
i'm continuing, y'all.
more and more and more.
every single day,
there's something.
i mean,
what the F* else would there be?
real life unfolds;
never quiet, never soft.....

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