Tuesday, May 21

rubbing it in.

black pepper by the 'cornful,
and ground mustard,
and thyme, and rosemary, and g.p.o.p., neighbors.
that's the way you herb-crust the sh!t outta some tempeh.
i soak those bricks of bean magic in a brutal barbarian bouillon broth first,
and dredge 'em in all that spicy black powder before i fry 'em up.
i realize that alone is pretty sexy.
i mean,
i'm not actually an A*-hole.
a dinner of just turbo-elite temporary tempeh tiles is just not
even coming anywhere close to being superfancy enough
to be considered as going all the way to eleven.
i made some heroic hero-type french hoagies for my face.
and i brought the righteous kitchen activation down around me.
check the i-doo-doo-it-better-type teleport:
sugar-fried almonds?
caramelized leeks?
sliced redskinned empire apples?
crunch-crunch, b!tch.
without the bitter, the sweet is never as sweet.
and all of that on a butter-broiled mutigrain baguette?
F*ing right.
open faced so y'all can see the layers and levels of ultimate hottness.
i put both sides together like a soul-clap,
and stuffed my face with shark-gluttonous authority post photo, though, yo.
you like the leek leaf and arugala garnish jauns, huh?
i know.
cucumbers, celery, tomatoes, shallots, and dill?
oh my!
crisp salad business under a glaze of white balsamic.
(yeah, i know i did that before already. it's dope. recognize)
i put a punch of jalapeno potato crisps on there,
and i'll tell you what, kids-
they're hot!
and they cause nightmares!
that's one luscious-lookin' optimum plateful of active participation.
i've got to eat,
but moreover,
i've got to eat well.
for the record?
victory is delicious.
oh, yeah,
i also powered down a pineapple and coconut lava flow!
why is it a lava flow?
because of the pureed strawberries in the middle.
they bubble up after the first tipped sip.
...that's that super-sexy revealing jauns.
and with a fresh squeezed extra-juicy orange on top, too?
you know it was dope.
i know even better than you,
since i slid it on down my neckhole.
if it's not expert,
i just don't give a sh!t.
true story.
i'm only interested in really realness really happening,
and only all of the time.
it's what is,
and that's what it has to be;
never quiet, never soft.....

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