Tuesday, November 21


i don't do scotch,
and i don't do butter, either;
i do get a little excited when there are vegan butterscotch chips
stocked up inside the Folk Life & Liberty larder, neighbors.
i didn't know about 'em until i learned about 'em,
but now that i'm aware, nothing needs to be butterscotchless anymore-
i'll still abstain from butter,
and i'll steadfastly avoid scotch forever and always,
but i'm for sure gonna be baking up some of that new-new from here on out...
here's the thing-
little beige vanilla-y chips of creamy cake-tasting chocolate-style chips are
actually something that should be gross....
but they're NOT.
in fact, they're pretty dope.
that's real.
i knew i had to use 'em quick-fast and in a hurry,
so i did.
there's no point in wasting time, friends.
and there is less point in wasting food, dudes.
y'all know about cookie pie?
it's just cookie dough made into one real big thick tasty cookie,
that is more like a cake-pie than anything else.
that means a soft center, and a crisp edge, and a thick slab of pure sexxiness
are all waiting for you, should you choose to create one.
i did so choose, and here's the proof:

y'see the sprankles of butt'scot's on top?
i doo-doo that freaky sh!t.
and i'll tell you something else-
there's a whole bunch of those little light-and-tights INside, too.
yeah, you know why-
too much is the right amount.
anything less is just plain ol' dumb, bro.
i like to make food.
more than most people, i think.
at least, for the area i live in,and the people here that i interact with,
it sure does SEEM like they can't be bothered with intentional inventiveness.
then again,
maybe all the culinarily creative types are all super busy at home,
firmly entrenched in the space near their own ovens,
and aren't the sort to want to leave the house to come and get tattoos,
sample treats from a conscientious creator of confections,
and simultaneously engage in stimulating conversation.
who knows?
i've got all that stuff and cookie pie, so my point of reference is the one
where it's all really happening all the time everywhere....
so that's a thing, too.
i'll go on ahead and just figure that someday you too
might want to make a tasty lil pie like the one above.
to that end, i'll also provide the recipe,
just in case you're the type of person who likes to have one of those ready to reference
while you're stirring and adding an' that.
ok, ready?
preheat your oven to 375℉
get yourself a 9" cast iron pan, and fold/crimp in a large piece of parchment,
lining it all nicey-nicely and easy-cleanable for the future.
in a medium mixin' bowl, crush and combine:
1 cup light brown sugar;
1 stick (8T) earth balance vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla.
next, thoroughly stir in:
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce.
to that wet mixture, i'm asking that you also include:
2 1/4 cups flour;
2/3 cup freshly ground coconut (from medium flakes of unsweetened tropical love);
1 tsp each bakey powpow and soda;
6 oz king david vegan butterscotch chips;
one large handful vegan mini chocolate chips.
knead it into a soft, but totally integrated dough,
and press it into the parchment-lined iron heaviness.
then add those b'scotch spranks,
and bake that sweet baby b!tch for about 25-30ish minutes.
you'll know when it's done, because it puffs up and gets good and golden-
the interior will sort of be soft even after it cools,
but that's part of the pleasure of this pie.
it's got the gooey goodness going OFF!
rules is rules.
oh, you know.
like, MORE makes everything better.
that's a rule, fool.
and i couldn't just leave that pie like that.
all golden and luscious, but oh, so plain on the surface...
no way.
i HAD to hit it off with the dark chocolate drizzles.
fully-activated additional awesomeness is mandatory in these parts.
the holidays are here.
like it or not,
ready or not,
believe it or not.
they're right up on us,
and i've got a LOT of work to do.
yesterday had me on some homemade seitan, homemade sausage,
homemade dumpling filling, homemade sauces,
and homemade morning-time busy business.
i'm all about the onslaught of edible expertism.
that's part of my obsessive compulsive infinite nature.
i HAVE to make the stuff.
because i WANT to eat it,
but where the eff else am i going to get it from besides right here,
crafted with my own two hands,
using recipes from inside my head,
to bring my thoughts to reality in bowl after bowl,
and on big burly platefuls of piled-high hottness.
you feel that. don't you?
i hope so.
if you can make it, you can have it,
and that's sort of the best, isn't it?
whenever, and wherever, i'm manufacturing whatever,
so i can partake of my own self-created culinary kaleidoscope
every flipping damned day and night.
i'm grateful as F* for the path found for myself,
and the trip i'm on is one where every stop is a pit-stop for ferociously flavorful fuel
for my mind and my body and my spirit and all that sort of bullsh!t;
never quiet, never soft.....

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