Sunday, November 5


hey guys!
so, i learned something about myself as i put the third one in my mouth-
it turns out i like 'em fluffed-out and buttery.
i'm not talking about the ladies.
what's wrong with you?!
buttery?! c'mon.
i'm talking about fresh, warm cakes, neighbors.
but, for realsies, i made some new-new cakey goodies,
and they had a mysteriously wonderful level of buttery fluffiness.
i think it was all the almonds.
they were almond cranberry magic squares, and they were molto expert.
that's no joke.
look at 'em:

these little effers were pretty much the best part of the morning.
you want to know how they work
here's the rundown:
preheat your oven to 350℉.
get yourself a mixin' bowl big enough to make a cake with,
and combine:
1 stick earth balance vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 cup sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1 tsp almond extract;
next, stir in 2/3 cup (1 personal container) non-dairy yogurt.
1 cup almond meal;
1 3/4 cup flour;
2/3 cup dried cranberries;
2 tsp baking powpow;
1 tsp bakey soda;
1/2 cup almonds;
1 cup almond milk.
mix completely,
and spoon into greased tins.
i used the squares because they're deep and dope and non-traditional and elite,
but i'll bet a brownie pan or muffin tins would work just as well,
only not as sexxxily.
no big deal, really.
you can still make it work.
but, before you bake 'em for 25-30 minutes,
you've GOT to add cranberry and almond sprankles on top.
yes. that's a thing.
rules is rules,
and if your treats aren't overflowing with add-ons and mix-ins,
you might be doing it wrong.
on the real, too much is the right amount,
and NOT putting the exxxtra to it is a grievous mistake.
so don't skimp out, because you'll only be cheating yourself.
the almondy almondness made them SUPER smooth and buttery.
it's the nut oils, i s'pose-
although i won't repeat that out loud, ever.
they're good as heck, tho,
so i strongly recommend adding 'em in,
and making up a batch of these sweet babies asap.
you won't regret it unless you F*it up, in which case,
you got what was coming to you for not paying attention.
i've got tatts on tatts on tatts every damned day for a long stretch of time coming up.
that's cool.
i mean,
as the shoulders shrug into the christmas season,
well ahead of thankful givings and sharkish gluttonies,
it's always nice to scoop up some movie checks.
i mean,
those presents aren't gonna buy themselves, kids.
time has become a precious commodity,
and sleep seems to demand attention at the strangest times.
for example,
after 6 tattoos yesterday,
whereupon i also just happened to entertain four or five folks who weren't my clients,
i got home, got into some dinnertime activation,
and suddenly found myself completely exhausted.
an eight-hour filibuster of flavorful anecdotes takes it's toll on the body,
more so than just being hunched over a sweaty body tattzapping the crap out of some skin does.
that's real.
i'm not saying i won't continue this seven-day pace,
i'm just letting you know that determination and drive demand a high price
that is debited directly from one's private time.
better that than their private parts, i guess.
the bottom line?
i may actually work too much,
that's the main ingredient, isn't it?
it's all really happening, to the simultaneous benefit and detriment of everything else;
never quiet, never soft.....

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