TUESDAY!!

what happens when you're hungry and in a hurry and it's tuesday?
a convergence of environmental elements collides,
and the resultant exxxplosion is something expert for your enjoyment
in all of it's elitely expert edible excellence.
don't believe me?
well you should because truth telling is my specialty.
really.
ok.
you can have your doubts.
but maybe you'll feel differently once you see the results for yourself:

TACOOOOOOO TUESDAYYYY!!!
word!
THAT'S how you make dinner go to eleven.
mmmmmmmm.
fiesta guacamole?
hell yes.
salsa fresca?
F* yeah!
crisp smoky tofu?
yup.
dudes,
it was all the best flavors working in unison to elevate my tastebuds
way way upwards towards a higher plane of pleasure.
...that's what happened.
as always, soft flour tortillas were the way to go.
i don't eff with the sh!t-sucking shrapnel of crunchy corn.
oh, for sure, i'll crunch up a tortilla chip,.
i mean, c'mon, i'm not an A*-hole.
it's the terrible fall-apartiness of the shells that i detest, and avoid.
so,
with my toasted flour flaps in place,
and shredded purple cabbage, chiffonaded baby spinach, cilantro and cucumber discs on deck,
all that was left was the thicccness.
like,
tofu, fried in coconut oil, with garlic, and onion, just a little of each,
plus smoked paprika, and GPOP, and oregano, and coriander, and cumin,
until it was crisp as heck.
i had onion, and black beans, and poblano pepper all minced up,
and toasted with a touch of chipotle pepper, and black pepper,
and just the tiniest dash of ho'sauce, to give it a deep heat that took a second to warm your face.
a little heat-seeking secret to suck on, y'know?
yeah. that's pretty neat.
-
and i added some pepitas, toasted in olive oil, black-peppered,
and brought up to the forefront of fresh flavor with a glug of agave.
that's riiiiiight.
seed sprankles are good for tacos.
pea shoots stopped by, and we welcomed them with open arms.
same went for the quick-mixed-hot-pickles, too.
and then there was the vegan sour cream.
what?
yeah, it was store bought. yeah, i feel completely unashamed.
also, it was delicious.
totally.
-
the guac' rocked my socks.
it always does.
and here's how to make your own spellcast avocado magic, bro:
-
*
RAINBOW FIESTA GUACAMOLE!!
-
if you've got a molcajete, feel free to employ it-
otherwise, in a sexy glass bowl, combine:
3 ripe avocados, mashed;
1/4 cup red onion;
1 T scallion;
3 T minced cilantro;
1/4 cup finely chopped multicolored sweet peppers;
1 tsp chopped red chili;
1/2 minced jalapeno;
2 T minced poblano;
2 cloves crushed garlic;
1 T lemon juice;
2 T lime juice;
GPOP, pink salt, and black pepper, to taste.
^^^
leave in the pits and cover it all with MORE juice, to prevent ugly oxidized brownification,
and serve it up with confidence,
because it's got ALL the goodness within,
and ALL the new hottness as well.
***********
the salsa fresca has long been legendary around the woodsly goodness.
with the big move to my own artistic enclave of expertism,
and the subsequent dismissal of the dismally faithless and accursed 'friends'
i'd shared my fresh saucy vegetable heroics with,
i'm now fully aware that a whole group of Off-The Listers who previously sung it's praises
and lauded it's considerable virtues will never ever ever ever have another scoop of it.
but that's only sad for them, really,
because it just means even MORE of this delicacy
is reserved for my own fat face from now on.
after all,
i know the recipe, and i've got the touch, so it's still salsa time anytime around here.
you want the recipe?
ok.
just don't give it to them.
haha.
stop.
-
*
SALSA FRESCA!!!
-
in a chopper-upperer,
or by hand if your knives are crazily sharp,
coarse-mice up;
4 roma tromatoes;
2 1/2 tomatillos;
1/2 red onion;
1/2 jalapeno;
2 cloves garlic;
1/2 cup cilantro;
3 T scallion greens;
1/2 cup red and orange sweet peppers;
3 T poblano pepper;
red chili;
LIME for days, GPOP, salt and pepper, to taste.
chop it up as chunkily or smoothly as you'd like,
and let it sit in it's own juice for a bit, in a bowl, in your fridge,
until it's time to get gnarly on some superior shark-gluttonous gorgeous gorging.
...that's tight
***********
and so it goes.
taco tuesday was dope.
(naturally)
and worst-ever wednesday is now where we're at.
it's ferociously, and frigidly in full effect.
it's all really happening-
and it's cold, too.
here, there, everywhere, the icy november air is doing mean-spirited things
to the trees and hills of the woodsly goodness.
but, specifically, what's on the schedule around here?
well, just like every damned day, there are tattoos poppin' off for the first half of the day;
but then, i think there's gonna be fancy dinner in the evening,
and some sort of active participation everywhere in-between.
i may make some mushrooms, too, man.
huh?
no.
NOT slimy ones.
what's wrong with you?
that's gross, and i'm not with that.
browned and firm, baby,
like my butt.
oh, wait, that's not it;
never quiet, never soft.....