this is hallowe'en!
THIS is hallowe'en!
THIS IS HALLOWE'EN!
THIS IS HALLOWE'EN:
HALLOWE'EN HALLOWE'EN HALOWE'EN HALLOWE'EN!!!!
i LOVE costume making.
i LOVE dressing up.
i LOVE make-up makeout partytime.
i LOVE HALLOWE'EN!!
and you know i bring the loud, fresh, hard thunder,
and the lightning-striking viking berserker barbarian battle-beastliness every year, right?
you're gosh-damned right i do.
because rules is rules,
and that's my thing.
the hot boy jauns that get me psyched up for my yearly sleepless mad-dash
doomscramble to the unrewarded unrequited finish line of october 31st.
it crushes my health and well-being and frays my nerves
while simultaneously shortening my temper
and increasing my anxiety and irritability,
all while also defiling my brain with toxic gasses and fumes,
and burning my fingers to the point of blisters with bubbling hot molten glue lava!
is it worth it?
check it out, and you tell me:
APOCALYPTIC BOBOTRONIC BIO-BORG WASTELAND WARRIOR!
it looks good in pictures, but it's not like i'm going to a costume contest or anything.
i'm going to WORK,
because that's what i DO.
is that weird?
i mean, i've got a serious collection of years' worth of these jauns now.
if i didn't LOVE it, would i still do it?
well, i mean, yes.....obviously.
like, what are you?
we do what we do, to be the person we want to.
anybody can NOT make a costume.
hell, you're doing that right now.
my professional holiday appreciation demands that i take it to eleven every year.
how could i squander this skillset by just ignoring it?
once you dive into something, and you discover you're expert AF at it,
you just DO that from now on, man.
that's just how it is.
it's spirit and memory and voluntary celebratory warrior poetic active participation.
look a the power-pack back-armor engine housing:
ROBOBO-MATIC FUTURE FURY!!!
and the cobbled-together repairs of a mechanical pacemaker life-support system?
Y'ALL AIN'T ABOUT TO PLAY LIKE THIS AIN'T FRESH.
it's tight and TILTY and that's the truth.
i wasn't sure i could get it all done,
but, i just did that thing that really real ones know about.
you dig deeper, you try harder, you go bigger, you sleep less;
you make MOVES, son.
and look at the bigger picture:
no weak sauce for y'all.
not up here in the woodsly goodness.
you like it?
there are fifteen skulls on this thing.
too much is the right amount,
and in the far-flung reaches of the war-ravaged plagueworlds
where bros like this combat and maraud and rage,
i'm pretty sure skulls are haute couture, for sure.
there would've been even MORE.
but time was of the essence, and that meant fewer tiny teeny details,
and more and more of the larger and in-charger points of interest.
take a gander at the engine driven rebreather/gas-mask/face-shield:
THAT NEW HOTTNESS FOR THE OLD AND THE BUSTED!
in really real life i'm a hazel-eyed brown-and-gray-thinning-headed balding old man,
for just this one day,
i got to entertain the persona of a luxuriously-locked
shock-white-tressed and eclipse-eyed adventurer.
i think i did it justice, too.
...and that's the whole best point of costumes.
you get to be a whole new thing, and you get to pick what it is,
and if you're especially intense and inventive, motivated and creative,
you get to make it exxxactly how you want.
this costume also features a mounted blaster cannon on an aftermarket up-armored robot arm,
complete with double-power energy-bladed battle-beast lightning claws!!
HE GOT THE STAB UP FINGIES!
not too shabby at all.
and it's even cooler if you stop and consider nearly everything is eva foam floormats,
craft foam, plastic bits, and spray paint, right?
i made it.
and i posed, and modeled, and disrobed and re-robed, and danced and ate
and generally spanned time just as i planned.
there is no real practical application, nor any real display of what i do.
that's never been the point.
i make what i make because i am who i am.
i'm a maker.
i make things.
that's the purpose,
that's what i DO.
i did a thing, and now it's done.
it was big fun upon completion,
and an enormous drain on my time, resources, and general well-being
for almost every single moment prior, and definitely during, from inception to decoration.
i only like it if it's something to complain about.
and i choose to do it only if it isn't easy.
i'm a wrench-pickin' sh!t-creekin' hard-stylist,
and i think that's a good thing.
i hope y'all like what i've got going on here.
i s'pose there's always a chance that next year i'll be an eye-pleasingly pretty princess.
i wouldn't wait for that if i were you,
but please, do as you will, or as your nature dictates;
never quiet, never soft.....