yeah.
to all my british folks out there,
this one's for y'all.
mmhmm.
guy fawkes had a decidedly bad day,
as a catholic loyalist who'd plotted to blow up the protestant parliament of england,
but who was instead caught, tortured, executed (sorta) and quartered,
with his mutilated body being displayed in the four corners of england afterwards.
the brits, being a dismally festive batch of good sports,
were encouraged to light bonfires to celebrate the failed assassination attempt on
ol' king james.
and so,
bonfire night was born.
also,
the guy fawkes masks of these makeshift anonymous anarchists,
inspired by the movie about a discordant future inspired by the comic
inspired by the long-past events of y'boi guido,
which have all of you familiar with that V for Vendetta jauns
that inspired my treats for the big day!
uh-huh.
all that is real.
and so are these not-so-british coffee-flavored cookies!
teleport:
GUN-ka-POWder!!
tight!
coffee coffee coffee;
and then, more coffee, with chocolate,
because mocha is expert!
wordimus prime...
mmmmmmmmmm.
guys, (unintentional pun)
these luxuriously coffee-activated melt-in-your-face cookies are incredible.
i mean it.
i just kept adding stuff until i was satisfied,
and happily,
i also saved the stencil from year's past, so i was already ready already
before i even got started.
here's how i did it,
so you can indulge yourself if you're so inclined to plot
and plan a little revolution in your kitchen.
-
*
COFFEE CRUNCH SNAPS!!
-
preheat your oven to 375℉
-
get yourself a bowl, and cream up:
1 cup sugar;
1 tsp coffee extract;
3 T instant coffee;
2 tsp ground espresso beans;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/2 tsp salt;
10 T softened vegan butter;
3 T softened vegan creamchee.
-
add in:
2 1/4 cups flour;
1 tsp bakey kapowder;
1 tsp bakey soda;
-
roll the dough out on very-well-floured surface,
to about 1/4" thick,
and cut yourself some circles, about 3" apiece-
i made, like, thirty circles, with the express purpose of making crunchy sandwiches out of them.
yup.
i planned ahead.
and i'll tell you another thing- 13 minutes of baking had these bad boys especially crisp.
...and when they were cooled off enough to allow frosting to fill 'em without melting?
i did that....obvi.
c'mon, man. MORE is better.
-
i approximated the measurements for a little mocha sorcery.
that's coffee, and cocoa, and coffee, and more coffee,
with butter and powdered sugar and a splash of french-pressed coffee
brewed expressly for this one purpose.
figure on:
4 T earth balance butterish;
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar;
1/2 tsp coffee extract;
1 T instant coffee;
1/2 tsp ground espresso beans;
3 T cocoa powder;
3-4 T espresso.
whip whip whip it up,
and it'll be the best thing you've had in an age.
and when you mix it in with those coffee snaps????
too much is the right amount,
and it all syncs up to elevate the experience to an off-the-charts melty crunch-to-dissolve
activated sweet exxxplosion of parliamentary funkadelicious delightfulness.
....for realsies.
***********
meeting new people can be stressful, or so i've heard.
i've had very little experience with the stresses of new environments, honestly.
mainly because i'm relatively a very interactively participatory person.
y'know?
like,
once i realized that other people can't affect my infinite nature,
nor does what they eat make ME sh!t, as they say,
spanning time near new people became a worry-free exchange.
y'feel me?
no?
think of it like this:
new people have managed to NOT determine who you are
for the entirety of the time you didn't know them,
which is every single minute right up until you did-
so,
it's pretty rudimentary math to just subtract any negative experiences from the whole,
in order to return to the total you had previously.
it's like voiding a transaction at the grocery store, man.
that's a thing.
anyhow,
IF you're unaccustomed to dominating every social experience with easy prepossessed power,
sorta like a brutal barbarian battle-beastly juggernaut of reckless self-assuredness,
then yeah, i s'pose i can see how interacting with strangers could maybe be nerve-wracking.
and for the record,
when i say prepossessed, i really just mean: handsomely at home in your own old, busted skin.
...or maybe i'm just referring to myself exclusively.
ha.
ANYway,
i met a group of lovely folks last night,
and had a good time celebrating in the spirit of belated berfdays and family togetherness.
it was pretty nice to be around a group of folks who decided to do something special,
and then actually did something special.
although, i admit i am very UNused to being treated to a night out.
i was uncomfortable with that.
but i'll make it up, because i believe firmly in tidy accounting,
and the balance of gratitude and generosity.
so, by night's end,
i was neither drawn, nor quartered,
and i wasn't hanged or bonfired, either-
my limited time away from responsibility was spanned in the company of good people,
so we're gonna go ahead and call it a win.
time unfolds in surprising ways sometimes,
and it's a good feeling, still being surprised sometimes;
never quiet, never soft.....
...and when they were cooled off enough to allow frosting to fill 'em without melting?
i did that....obvi.
c'mon, man. MORE is better.
-
i approximated the measurements for a little mocha sorcery.
that's coffee, and cocoa, and coffee, and more coffee,
with butter and powdered sugar and a splash of french-pressed coffee
brewed expressly for this one purpose.
figure on:
4 T earth balance butterish;
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar;
1/2 tsp coffee extract;
1 T instant coffee;
1/2 tsp ground espresso beans;
3 T cocoa powder;
3-4 T espresso.
whip whip whip it up,
and it'll be the best thing you've had in an age.
and when you mix it in with those coffee snaps????
too much is the right amount,
and it all syncs up to elevate the experience to an off-the-charts melty crunch-to-dissolve
activated sweet exxxplosion of parliamentary funkadelicious delightfulness.
....for realsies.
***********
meeting new people can be stressful, or so i've heard.
i've had very little experience with the stresses of new environments, honestly.
mainly because i'm relatively a very interactively participatory person.
y'know?
like,
once i realized that other people can't affect my infinite nature,
nor does what they eat make ME sh!t, as they say,
spanning time near new people became a worry-free exchange.
y'feel me?
no?
think of it like this:
new people have managed to NOT determine who you are
for the entirety of the time you didn't know them,
which is every single minute right up until you did-
so,
it's pretty rudimentary math to just subtract any negative experiences from the whole,
in order to return to the total you had previously.
it's like voiding a transaction at the grocery store, man.
that's a thing.
anyhow,
IF you're unaccustomed to dominating every social experience with easy prepossessed power,
sorta like a brutal barbarian battle-beastly juggernaut of reckless self-assuredness,
then yeah, i s'pose i can see how interacting with strangers could maybe be nerve-wracking.
and for the record,
when i say prepossessed, i really just mean: handsomely at home in your own old, busted skin.
...or maybe i'm just referring to myself exclusively.
ha.
ANYway,
i met a group of lovely folks last night,
and had a good time celebrating in the spirit of belated berfdays and family togetherness.
it was pretty nice to be around a group of folks who decided to do something special,
and then actually did something special.
although, i admit i am very UNused to being treated to a night out.
i was uncomfortable with that.
but i'll make it up, because i believe firmly in tidy accounting,
and the balance of gratitude and generosity.
so, by night's end,
i was neither drawn, nor quartered,
and i wasn't hanged or bonfired, either-
my limited time away from responsibility was spanned in the company of good people,
so we're gonna go ahead and call it a win.
time unfolds in surprising ways sometimes,
and it's a good feeling, still being surprised sometimes;
never quiet, never soft.....
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