LITTLE VICTORIES!

i have been crushing tattoos every flipping day.
yup.
it's good, and it's bad, and it's welcome, and it's a nuisance.
I'm grateful to have the clientele that is committed to coming and experiencing
the luxurious setting, and the expert ambiance of AMPERSAND TATTOO.
that's for sure.
it's a carefully cultivated environment,
designed to be inclusive and interactive with the individuals who compose
the larger, bigger, better, and more awesome army of excellence that
makes the place a living organism, rather than just a place where tattoos happen.
y'know?
and that's cool, right?
man, i sure hope so, because it is exhausting.
if you want the new hottness,
you've gotta make the new hottness.
but,
(and there is always a F*ing but)
the demands i impose on myself to maintain the intensity and energy of the
effective, affected, and effusive establishment,
and to create something MORE than any ol' ordinary setting for tatzappin' and crap-chattin',
are really taxing the limits of my endurance;
and that's saying a LOT-
considering my mystical vegan barbarian stamina exceeds the average everyday
doo-doo buttery dude
by a full order of magnitude x 11.
and i'm not even bragging, neighbors-
i'm too tired for that, so you know it's serious...
ha!
so,
yes,
i'm fortunate, and i'm giving thanks, and i'm working my hardest, and longest
to keep everything elite and expert all the mutha-effing time.
damn.
it continues to shape the way i look at time.
and when you truly begin to realize how little of it there is,
you've got to decide how you're going to budget the finite quantity,
with the maxxximum results for the investment thereof.
damn.
i'll tell you something-
cake helps the days pass with fewer hitches, headaches, and hiccups.
i mean it.
if it was't for the early a.m. bakery exxxplosions i concocct,
i doubt i'd have the nourishment necessary to dominate each day into submission.
word up.
recently,
i've been going somewhat simpler than in months past.
i believe it has to do with the sh!t-salad of grey lameness that is NOvember.
easily the least rad month of the year, and my personal seasonal nemesis.
therefore,
i activated some coconut, which is perpetually uplifting,
and then i dropped a couple chocolate chips on top,
to turn up the sweetness, and maybe ease my bitter words back a bit.
mmmmmmmm.
here's what happened:

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE IS GREAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!
a huge scoop of vegan sour cream, whipped into a frothy frenzy,
is what turned a regular-A* morning into a sumptuous fluff-up from the future.
that's real.
guys!
i want you to make this.
i want you to have a 10" pan.
i want you to experience the joy of coconut.
i want you to get moving, because time's a -wastin', man.
here's the order of operations-
-
*
COCONUT CREAM CAKE!
-
preheat your oven to 350℉
-
in your heroically dependable stand mixer, with the whisk attached,
cream up:
1 stick vegan butter (that's still 8 T all day);
1/2 tsp salt;
1 cup sugar;
2 tsp vanilla bean paste;
1 tsp coconut essence.
next, whip in:
1 full heaping cup of tofutti vegan sour cream;
1/4 cup tapioca flour.
-
now, toss in;
1/2 cup medium flake unsweetened coconut;
2 1/4 cups flour;
1 tsp ea. baking powpow and soda;
1 cup coconut milk (the drinking carton kind)
whisk it into a lofty batter,
and spread it out in a greased 10-incher.
i hit the whole surface with shredded coconut sprankles,
which toasted up so nicey-nicely,
and i also respected the house rules.
y'know?
like, too much is the right amount.
mmmmmmmhmmmm.
so i also put vegan chocolate chips on half, as well.
in case somebody needed some exxxtra gooey goodsly goodness for their face.
yeah!
bake it for 30ish minutes, until the center is thoroughly set up,
and let it cool enough to cut without smearing chocolate everywhere.
i'd recommend you eat at least one slice warm,
although it is very good at room temp, too.
i mean, really, it's got all the right flavors, and textures,
so how can you go wrong?
....you CAN'T,
unless you don't eat any-
in which case you are very clearly F*ed up.
so don't be F*ed up, and get your hands on an oven and a pan and some ingredients
and make your own magic.
maybe leave the chips off?
maybe put more chips ON?
maybe put chips IN?
who knows??
you're in charge of your own destiny, bro.
and i hope that includes cake;
never quiet, never soft.....