Tuesday, January 1


this is IT!
today is the day!
a whole new year,
a whole new page on the calendar- a whole new calendar, even.
the big debut of 2019.
the start of a whole new spin around the sun,
the start of a whole new F*ing life-
today is THE day, and all around us, it's all really happening,
and that's the whole point.
it's january- and no big deal or anything, but in a week,
it's also my birthday.
there's a LOT going on already, and it's only seven a.m.!
i stayed up until midnight-
as usual, i did NOT see the televised ANYthing about the new year-
i was home, alone, following one of my many food-based traditions.
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress, in the snow, with a fire, and a feast,
for my own damned self in F*ing full effect-
i don't go out, i don't drink.....ever,
and i didn't have any of my important people around to help me span the final minutes.
awwwww- c'mon, it's totally okay.
i'm gonna do my thing no matter what-
rules is rules, man.
and i doo-doo the sh!t that makes my end-of-year transition work for me.
what do we do when it's new year's eve?
we make SOOSH!
ummmm, that's right, neighbors-
spectacularly radical homemade expert vegan sushi for your flippin' face.
check the bye-bye-type teleport:

that's how you get weird with your last meal, friends-
get right up on it:

c'mon.....i mean, f'really-real, tho- C'MON!!
and that nigiri?
maaaaaaaaaaaan, you act like you be knowin'.... but you don't be knowin'.
you can find out right now, however:

i'm not sayin' i'm a sushi-party mastermind or nothin',
but if YOU were to notice, i'd not disagree.
tapioca pearls, smoked paprika, tamari, and water, simmered to make those lil bubbles
all sorts of round and plump and salty and colorful.
expert, man.
it's frickin' expert.
AVO-F*ING-CADO all up on 'em,
roasted, sesame-oiled sweet potato.
tamari-marinated sesame-seared tofu sticks.
carrots, cukes, radishes, pea shoots, cilantro, grilled asparagus,
and sesame seed sprankles!
everything is excellent when you make all th moves to make it epic and elite.
that's true.
sure it took almost two hours to make everything,
but i was home in the snow, bro.
it's not like i had somewhere to be.
did i eat it all?
no. not even close.
i did terrorize those signature green rolls like a shark-glutton.
bamboo rice, avocado, cilantro, pea shoots, cukes, and asparagus,
plus matcha mayo?????
too much is the right amount, and that's how hard i went on those bad boyz!
i mean it-
with a dollop of horseradish and a dip in the tamari-
i was in my green heaven, guys.
*BTW, this was 100% gluten-free, because i'm nicey-nice with it like that.

and the end rolls?

it was like a flippin' garden over here!
eating pretty food is what i'm about.
and if that's how 2018 goes out, it was a victory for the ages.
smoked paprika/turmeric mayo is hella tight.
sriracha mayo is a dang classic.
three sauces plus soy is a triumphant trinity, with a side order of awesome.
i like it.
i did it.
and then i had some edamame, too.
it's ridiculous, i know;
but i'm just sayin'-
overdoing it is the only way to get activated at my house.
did you see those supersexxxy chopsticks that say albie rock engraved on 'em?
my stormswept sweetheart, breezy, gave me those for christmas,
and they're DOOOOOOOOPE!
you bet your A* that even the karatechopstixxx are rad over here, duder.
that's our style- superfancy unnecessariness or nothin'.
a little sparkling red grape juice at midnight?
don't mind if i do.
you already know i F*ing hate booze of all sorts-
it's ok not to drink, brother-
in fact, i insist on it.
sound of mind, clear of head, wide-eyed, open handed,
and with a cast-iron fiery furnace of a heart ready to welcome a whole new everything.
it's all really happening, like i told you.
happy new year, y'all.
it's gonna be a whole new other 'nother big action activation sensation.
i just baked some sourdough, but in unrelated news,
let's get this bread;
never quiet, never soft.....

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