Sunday, January 6


the very first batch of the best cookies i know of this year,
AND they're also mother-F*ing gluten-free this time, too!
y'all don't know.
you act like you know, but you don't know.
what's the signature cookie of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress?
the one that has my name in it's name, man.
that's real.
albie rock bloxxx.
rock bloxxx are the TRUTH,
and these ones are even MORE honest than usual without wheat weirding us out.
check the teleport:

admire the chocolate dip and the rainbow sprankles, duder!
...heck yes.
so, what are the things that make rock bloxxx so righteous and epic and excellent?
what's the good thang that puts these at expert-level: eleven?
there's oatmeal.
there's coconut.
there's exxxtra chocolate chips.
there's fancy chocolate on top,
and there's three kinds of sweeteners.
too much is the right amount,
and these have ALL the hottness the bowl could hold-
y'wanna make some of 'em for yourself?
here's the deal:
preheat your oven to 375℉
in a medium metal aesthetic mixing bowl,
mash up:
1/2 cup raw sugar;
1/2 cup light brown sugar;
2 T regular-A* sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
1/2 cup macaroon-flake unsweetened dried coconut;
8 T (1 stick) vegan butter;
2 tsp vanilla.
stir in:
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce;
2-3 T agave;
2 T non-dairy milk.
mix well, and add the dry bits:
1 cup mama's gf coconut blend flour;
1 cup bob's gf ap baking blend (chick pea-based);
1/2 cup gf oat flour (fresh ground quick oatmeal works great!!!)
1 1/2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1 cup mini vegan chocolate chips;
1/4 cup vegan chocolate megachunks.
knead that into cookie dough, by hand, to get it all the way blended,
and shape and flatten golf-ball sized blops,
and arrange 'em on a couple of cookie sheets-
bake these lil hotties for 13 minutes, and allow them to cool completely on a wire rack
before you boost their burliness with chocolate and rainbow magic.
i got a little over three dozen of these guys, and holy sh!t are they great.
i really couldn't tell the difference between the og boomfire and the new-new either.
for really real, i mean it.
eh. maybe the texture was a touch softer, but the flavor was on point.
and that dip?
man, that's where they get rad af.
it's tempered dark chocolate, and cocoa, and powdered sugar, and vanilla, and soymilk,
and cocoa butter and a third of a coconut-milk chocolate bar,
all melted together into a thick sauce.
well, too much IS the right amount.
that's how it's gotta be, so that's how it's gonna be, bruh.
i doo-doo that fancy schmantzy business like a champion.
cookies are great.
single servings of awesome.
mood enhancing circles of supreme sweetness.
nutrients for your flippin' soul in chocolate-chipped discs.
the thing about rock bloxxx?
less than three is NOT a block, boi.
rule is rules.
if y'all aren't eatin' three in one shot,
you might just be a weak sauce watery diaperbaby,
and that means you're no longer invited to my cookie parties.
it's a trio or none,
it's a threesome or you're all by your lonesome.
it's a trinity to infinity....
so come through with your game face on,
and let's do some cookie monster mashing, friends;
never quiet, never soft.....

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