i have my friends over for a few days.
company is here.
that's really rare,
and also really nice.
of course. it's never ALL smooth sailing....
crabtree can't seem to figure it out,
and his confused exuberance is making me furious.
he's just a dumb little puppy,
and i'm a wizard of woodsly goodness.
his job is to ruin things,
and my job is to ensorcel some salsa.
my houseguests requested guacamole,
and you all already KNOW my fiesta guac' is the TRUTH.
naturally, i obliged.
the thing is, i had to hit up three stores to procure ripe avocados,
and while that is simply an small inconvenience,
nonetheless it started my meal plan off on a rocky road to success.
here's the thing, though, neighbors-
you really can't F* up tacos,
unless you're using crunchy box mix sh!t.
that's what poor people do.
over here, however,
in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
we rep a luxurious and extravagant albeit hard style,
and that calls for an strict adherence to the procedural rules.
you like it.
too much is the right amount,
and making one kind of taco is for weak diapery doo-doo babies.
i provided all the options,
and let my peoples prepare their own masterpieces.
i'll show you my first few,
and you can just imagine how much hottness was actually in full effect....
check the overloaded-expertism-type teleport:
i'm just gonna repeat that again one time......
i mean, duders,
there's all the stuff, and it's all right there,
willing to be dominated, daring you to try,
hot, wet, and so ready to get activated.
on the real real, i think i might've made something good up here.
homemade salsa verde?
i doo-doo that freaky sh!t.
tomatillos, and scallions, poblano pepper, leek, red onion, garlic,
oregano, green pepper ho'sauce, bay leaf, and H2O.
boiled down and pureed into a mush,
then upgraded with fresh scallions and lots of cilantro, plus a little jalapeno.
mmm. mmm. mmmmm.
how about salsa fresca caliente?
all the stuff you love, and a splash of lime to hook it up,.
we already established a batch of fiesta guac,
with all the polano, red chili, jalapeno, and sweet rainbow bells you could ask for.
how about those crawnchy radishes,
or the mixxxed leafy greens,
or what about the crisp red cabbage,
the heaps of multicolored sliced heirloom tomatoes,
or those sleek grilled freak-a-leeks???
that wasn't even everything!!
there's also a big bowl of coconut lime rice!
AND nootch-boosted GPOP blasted buttery refried pintos...
those are especially for my ampy d, y'dig?
and that smoked paprika chili tofu scramble?
expert expert expert!
sauteed leeks, GPOP, turmeric, coriander, garlic, cumin,
soy sauce and liquid smoke, black pepper and cayenne,
and a third of a red chili, chopped to bits, for that fire startin' flavor!!!
and cubed pineapple for sweetness;
some herby sprankles, for color and crunch and that;
and coconut-lime crema to elevate the experience to eleven?!?!??!?!
the secret is out,
and the proper path has been revealed:
too much IS the right amount,
and that's all there is to it.
i'm not saying every person who is all about this shark-glutton jauns is dope,
but i AM implying that 100% of folks who aren't into it are absolutely NOT dope.
never quiet, never soft.....