the scone zone.

where've i been?
well,
i had no internet, man.
for realsies,
somebody exploded a pole of power,
and the surging of that power blew up my router,
which is bad for internets.
then,
over the weekend,
i had to wait for a remote spy-style upgrade to my existing equipment,
with a direct link override of my writing machine.
yikes.
skynet saved me, i s'pose, but eventually the terminators will be here to collect.
anywaym
it's all better now, and that's cool,
but i've got SO much to tell you about-
like secret dessert scones.
huh?
oh,
that's real, i promise.
when your bestest friend on earth,
and the best bottom-b!tch you've had the pleasure of spanning time with
both could use a little somethin' sweet after an epic dinner,
there's only one option-
i must produce results, i must produce treats, i must do what needs doing.
and to that end,
i folded the holy F* out of some truly delightful scone dough.
check the teleport:

i put the boomfuego to 'em,
and let the oven take care of the rest.
there's nearly twice the regular amount of butter in these,
plus 3 Tablespoons of creamchee',
and 3 Tablespoons of sour cream,
and a cup of vanilla almond milk,
not to mention the leftover coconut crumbles
from the macaroons i made a ways back,
and lemon zest,
AND dried cranberries,
AND chocolate chips,
plus almond, vanilla, AND lemon extracts.
neighbors,
you know i'm not about to baby-step my batter into some b!tchbaggery.
no way.
too much is the right amount,
and when ,my peoples are in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
i have to bring the thunder to a crescendo of epic sconey stormswept savagery
all the way through every bit of crust and crumb.
rules is rules.
you guys want the full recipe?
ok.
3.5 cups of flour.
.5 cup tapioca.
.75 cup coconut and coconut oil cookie crap (it's a mystery)
1 cup cranberries
.5 cup chocolate chips
1 tsp baking powpow
2 tsp baking soda
one lemon's zest
plus the sh!t i already told you about,
which includes 11 T of butterish.
mmmmm.
400F degrees of ovenly expertism,
after all the folding and turning you ca reasonably expect,
and then a few more unreasonable folds for added dopeness.
mmhmmm.
that's a thing.
i put the sugary sprankles to 'em,
because i like 'em like that,
and i chill 'em,
to relax the dough after all that bending to my will.
ha.
sorry if this is a bit confusing-
i'm typiung away at the tattbomb studio before we open up for the day's business,
and i'm trying to catch up after four days of epic and excellent dinners and breakfasts.
yup.
the cucch was here for a little minute, and that made eveything bigger, and better,
and butterier in the least doo-doo of ways.
i'm so grateful for the overlap of good people who've been up here this month.
i needed it,
and i could maybe even use a little more.
it's all really happening,
and i'm doing my damnedest to document as much as i can recall and record
in word and deed and pictures to prove it;
never quiet, never soft.....