Friday, June 24


i promised myself that if my dinner came out like an aluminum-foiled
battery-licking bitter batch of b!tchbaggery,
that it would, in fact, be the absolute last time i tried to make broccoli rabe.
for serious.
it's been years since i last tried to take that tangy-zanger to my teeth,
and i'll tell you something-
i was reluctant, but also determined, to retry the bitterest greens of my past.
it fouled all previous attempts at preparation;
it foiled and spoiled every meal it made an appearance in;
it besmirched the good name of the brassica family, a blight on the roster;
a reliably dreadful misstep in preparation, time and time again,
as if i could not learn from my mistakes, at all.
(hmmm. perhaps the rabe is a metaphor for my 30s?)
perpetual good intentions, paid off in poorly processed green sh!t.
....until last night, that is.
i have unbelievable news.
as of NOW,
broccoli rabe is back on the menu.
check the success-tastes-best-type F*ing teleport:

what changed?
how on earth did it turn out so drastically different from the doo-doo butter of yesteryear?
for starters,
i checked in with the most secretly cookingest duder i know-
the cucch said to give it a braise, a steam, or a boil first-
and maybe that'd cut that bitterness out with a bath of boiling purification.
i took that suggestion, and dumped the stems right into a pot of roiling water,
for exactly one minute.
and it WORKED.
caramelized onions, dark and lovely and sweet, started my meal off,
with the addition of big garlic sprankles fried in the olive oily heat
of that oniony pan right after....
i reserved the garlic when it browned,
but i  let the onions hang out,
all while i had cubed-up salted olive oiled red skinned potatoes roasting
in the oven at 425F the whole time.
'tatoes are expert, especially with a crawnchy skin on 'em.
bias-sliced vegan sausages made their entrance at that point,
and the onion-sausage combo had the house smelling righteous.
THAT'S when i added in the boiled bits of broccoli rabe.
heck yes.
and the potatoes,
and some GPOP, and black pepper,
and let all that good stuff saute in the juicily charged oil.
that's delicious.
zitis are what i had, so zitis are what i used, al dente, obvi-
because i like to firmly embrace my meal in a toothsome tempest
of quantity and quality.
the garlic showed back up,
and took the whole plate past a perfect score, with exxxtra-credit activation,
and blasted it up to eleven.
all told, it's simple,
but the devil is in the details.
good stuff, together, makes great taste.
and when there's also a whole lot of it?
simple is only dope when there's a ton of it.
you know the story:
too much is the right amount.
believe it.
...i don't F* with pasta too often, it's true.
i also don't mess with dinner salad or soup very frequently,
but these last days have ventured out onto the fringes of my reliable menu plan,
and we're exploring a frontier of top-tier delectables over here.
it's all really good,
and it's all really happening.
that's positive,
and i'm positive that there will be MORE of all of it.
rules is rules,
and you know what i'm sayin';
never quiet, never soft.....

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