RABBBBBBIT!RABBITTTTT!!

woooohooooo!!!
it's june, you jerks!
awwwww.
ok.
but,
for real, though,
it's june, and that's awesome.
why do i like june so much?
man, i just DO.
why y'gotta question my motives when i finally actually just like somethin'?
c'mon.
it's june and that's good,
and i'm excited for a whole month of new hottness-
first up?
the magic mutha-effin' words.
OBviously.
rules is rules.
besides,
cultivating coincidence and fostering good fortune are always good ideas.
so,
when the clock struck twelve,
and the calendar flipped,
and we jumped from 5 to 6 on the month count,
you can be sure i did what needed doing,
and i said what needed saying.
uh-huh.
neighbors,
i spoke that sorcerous polysyllabic spellcasting,
out loud from my lips,
smacking out into the fibers of the secret universal plan,
and wove my will into the wolds and wilds of this wide weird world.
yuuuuuuuuuuuup.
i said it, and i meant it:
rabbit! rabbit!
^that's ^what's ^up.
and what else do we do when it's the first of the month?
you know the answer,
and you love it....
YEAH!
we bake up a brand new treat for our faces-
check the grab-your-checks-and-come-on-type teleport:

we got them blooooooooooobzzzzzzzzz, guys!!!
y'all already know i've been refining my chee'cake jauns over these last few years-
damn!
...and it sure as sh!t is getting better each and every time, too.
that's no joke.
what do i do to make it work?
i boldly blaze my way into the firmament to firm it up,
with sky-high piles of 'pioca an other assorted stuffs.
it's a lot like this:
-
1 block of firm tofu pressed.
1.5 tubz of vegan creamhee'
.75 cup powdered sugar
the juice of one lemon,
lemon exxxtract,
vanilla exxxtract
a pinch of salt
1/3 cup tapioca flour
3T starch (arrowroot, corn, whatever)
2T flour
processed into a pulp, and split in two.
yeah, split it up.
and then,
for that sexy sexxxiness in purple,
you powder up a package of freeze-dried blueberries,
and add them in to one of the portions.
voila.
two-tone tiers of terrific, just like that.
i baked it for about 45 minutes at 350F,
and that seemed to do the trick,
just in time for that thick, fresh, lightly lemony, (zested and juiced and everything)
totally expert blueberry compote to gel itself along the rooftop of the cake.

...yeah.
i mean,
that's precisely what i want to be happening to my mouth right now.
sugar, berries, lemon, vanilla, and tapioca. that's the ticket.
and it's a winning ticket.
plus,
the graham oatmeal cookie crumble crumb crust!!!
it's big, and it's burly,
and there's always extra afterwards,
but,
then again-
too much is the right amount,
and that's for certain.
two pkgs of grahams,
one huge handful of rolled oats,
and a punch of sugar, crushed up together,
with the addition of vanilla,
4-5T of melted butter,
and splash after splash of soymilk, rice milk, almond milk,
or whatever other other organic bark mulch milk you're into these days.
it doesn't matter which wetness you drip in there,
because it's just one component of that crusty crust.
and when it's all pressed into a pie/tart/something pan?
it's good for you-
and it only needs about 11 minutes in the oven to be ready.
and when it's set up, that chee' slides in so nicey nice!
mmmmmmmm.
*
i'm staring june off like i'm the champion.
what are all of y'all doin'?
i've got my old buddy michael holmes 
and his tasty lady Keeeeeeeeeem over,
and we're eating until we burst,
and then,
we're gonna eat a little baby bit more.
uh-huh.
it's all really happening,
because today is the day,
and it's the first of all the rest;
never quiet, never soft.....