Friday, October 14

blondies....with nuts.

and almond.
i wanted to represent on some cakey goodness,
but i've been a baby bit burnt-out on pumpkin.
i know the rules, buddy-
i'm just not feelin' a plumpy blarp of orange blops in my mouth at this moment.
well, yea, naturally i still want some cake.
i'm not an A*-hole.
i reached an accord with my tastebuds,
and we called for an armistice in my kitchen-
the peace offering?
they're delicious and nutritious, an all that sort of sh!t,
and more importantly, i had a whole bunch of 'em on hand.
that made them verrrrry attractive in the heat of the moment.
i did a thing,
and i think it is a good thing.
almond blondies are what's called for
in times of temporary pumpkin ceasefire.
and neighbors,
these almond blondies are very flippin' tasty......
on the ones,
check the gritty-grains-of-golden-greatness-type teleport:

how'd it happen?
i made it in a bowl. duh.
what did i use?
that's a better and more relevant question.
it went a little somethin' like this:
a cup and a few Tablespoons of mixed sugars
(raw and light brown, but the proportion is irrelevant)
1 1/3 cups a.p. flour
1 cup almond meal
1 tsp bakey soda/ 1 tsp bakey kapowder
1 cup sliced almonds
1 cup almond milk
1 1/2 tsps vanilla
1/2 tsp almond extract
1 stick vegan butts, melted
^ in that order, everything gets mixed up, into a wet sloppy slap of batter.
i used a miniature loaf pan, for molto crispy edges,
i threw some almonds on top, and i sprankled some sugar up there too.
and then,
i bake them.
c'mon man. that's how that works.
350F for 33-37 minutes,
and you get a grainy caramelized crispy-edged nutbar explosion for your face.
that's where it's at, holmes...
makeshift made-up almond creamchee' frosting?
i doo-doo that, too.
it's clear to me that i cannot leave well enough alone,
because enough is a concept i just can't quite come to terms with.
more is better,
even when its worse,
when it's clearly better,
how am i supposed tor resist?
specifically, in this precise instance, i'm talking about frosting,
but generally,
i'm pretty much guilty of overdoing everything,
and overstaying my welcome, even in my own home.
rules is rules, kids.
and too much is the right amount.
oh, really?
do i say that too often?
then maybe you understand what i'm telling you, after all.
hallowe'en is creeping right up, guys.
i'd better get crackin' on my costume pretty soon,
or i'll be simmering in sour sh!t-salad come the big day.
i think i can crank out somethin' good in the time i have left,
but then again,
it's not as if crabtree is going to cooperate.
dog times are good, but holy crap, they are incredibly distracting.
if only his teeth could be used to cut eva foam,
i think we'd have one helluva partnership.
instead, we have a more traditional partnership.
i do all the work,
and he undoes it at an alarmingly rapid pace.
it's all really happening, neighbors-
the long car rides,
the far longer walks,
the hill climbs and tug-of-wars.
i have him, and he's got me,
and together, we're something not nearly as good as either;
never quiet, never soft.....

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