Wednesday, October 12


....that's you.
i wanna tell you something you probably already know:
the cucch is an avowed and affirmed pizza man at heart.
he's a wood-fired thin-crust pizzaiolo supremacist,
and i trust his word as an authority on the subject,
as his subjective opinion is practically an edict,
(a decree, essentially if you're about that life)
on the overall hottness of a slice or a wedge or a square of that 'za-'za.
last night,
i let him have a little dose of my deep dish dopeness,
and i was a little trepidatious  about how it was gonna go.
in fact,
i even freaked off my usual recipe, to sorta stack the deck
just as i stacked on stacked the fillings within.
when it comes to getting a verdict from a mutha-'ucking expert,
you can well imagine i want those accolades in spades.
i did what i do,
and he did what he does,
and the final vote was that thick, cakey, buttery slightly-masa-activated,
double-doughy deepness is a valid form of pizza poetry.
check the teleport:

my springform jaun is getting a workout this week,
and the greased edges only accentuated the crisp bottom and shiny sides of that crust.
we got underchee' on the bottom.
we got daiya provolone over that.
we got caramelized onions, because rules is rules,
and daiya mozzarella covering them up.
next on the hit parade?
shredded baby kale.
leafy greens are good for you, guys.
and then, because MORE is the only way to go,
i got that seared, savory-seasoned seitan strip game on lock.
i doo-doo that archaeological-level tiered triumph-type sh!t.
is that it?
is this your first time reading this?
no way, man.
too much is the right amount.
therefore, broth blanched braised brussels spouts ribbons went all up on it,
and then crushed tomatoes,
and then cashew-garlic burrata-be-kidding-me blops,
and then fried garlic sprankles,
and then, when it came out of the oven,
some parsley, to turn it up to eleven,
and add just a little extra exxxtra-sexxxiness.
get on my level, friends,
or get the eff outta here.
you know what's up.
the ferocious and copious layers and complexity of taste and texture, kids.
i don't hate being vegan, and i don't think i'm missing out on a F*ing thing.
this tasty circle had a whole lot to endear itself to my mouth and my bellyhole,
and it was all intentionally and considerately crafted and created
without being a selfish and sh!tty A*-hole.
i really like that.
i mean,
i don't preach about animal rights and animal cruelty-
i just don't participate directly or indirectly in any of it.
that's not what makes me rad at making food, tho-
it's just a different approach to being expert at doing what i do.
and if i can do it, anybody can.
there is nothing inside of me that's super-powered.
i'm just some dude who loves deliciousness,
and isn't afraid to actively participate in making the magic happen....
this is all there is.
that's all there can be.
it's all unfolding according to the plan-
the plan however, is a secret;
never quiet, never soft.....

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