Friday, October 28


cups and cakes, kids.
i'm about that spongy, soft, dare i describe it as MOIST, muffiny magic.
cupcakes are good for you.
if for no other reason than it's a cake you don't have to settle for just a slice of.
i made up a batch, from scratch, naturally,
and they seem to really be something sort of special.
flavorwise, they've got all the comfort of autumn in every single bite.
i don't know what's different, but i do know it's F*ing expert.
check the teleport:

two sizes.
i made what i thought was a short order,
but i had my usual magical pessimistical mystery goggles on.
it's like i constantly forget that i instinctively adopt an uncanny adherence
to the secret universal rules on the regular-
i think i don't have enough,
when really,
too much is the right amount.
so i ended up with another dozen and then some of miniature overflow cuties, to boot.
you ninjas want to try your hand at these hotties?
here's what i did-
(good luck recreating the new hampshire majesty trapped in every morsel)
1 stick vegan butts
3 T vegan creamchee'
1 cup brown sugar
3 T granulated sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup non-dairy yogurt
^^^^ whipped up into an airy creamy wet bowlful of awesome,
to which you must add-
2 1/4 cups a.p. flour
2 T cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp ginger
2 tsp vanilla
2 tsp baking kapowder
1/3 cup tapioca, for that springiness that comes from puddin' it to the mix
3/4 cup apple cider (or 1/2 cup cider 1/4 cup non dairy milk, whatever)
^^whisked up until smooth,
it makes a more than a dozen, but less than a double dozen, regular sized cuppycakers,
filled 1/2 way before baking, at 350F for 30 minutes or so.
it seems so straightforward, but they taste so complex.
i'm very pleased with the finished product.
the frosting?
weirdest version of cinnamaple creamchee' yet.
i mean it.
6 T vegan butts
3 T creamchee'
2 cups powpow
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp maple extract
2 T maple syrup
and a whole lotta whippin'.
ooooooooooooooooooooof!'s dope.
and i mean, really dope.
and thick. and smooth. and toothachingly sweet.
it's seriously too much, kids,
which is how you know were doing it right, right?
yes indeed, because rules is rules.
do you guys eff with hallowe'en heavy in your 'hood?
bobbing for apples in boogery water?
dressing as a slutty something or other?
scaring people from out of the bushed by the backdoor?
that's cool.
i get into it,
but i don't really get it,
i more like, ghetto it.
i'm sayin', i LOVE it.
i don't DO much.
i mean, i work, because i always work,
but otherwise,
i just dress up, and then go through my everyday routine.
i wonder if i should change it up this year?
or just stick with the bleak bitter jawbreakers of hurtful and howling-mad
hermity tricky treatises on being all by my lonely?
i'm gonna come home after work,
keep my porch light OFF,
and eat a whole pie by myself.
maybe i'll eat a pizza pie AND pumpkin pie.
what-what, say what, say what?
ANYthing can happen.
it just most likely won't.
that's the way i celebrate the things i love the most;
never quiet, never soft.....

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