nobody leaves with the title.......
the fryeburg fair is over and out.
the eight day span of gastrointestinal horror stories i told
to my bellyhole and the terminating afterburner exhaust ports
are finally all finished up.
here's the thing-
as the dust settled,
the rain stopped,
and the cold air swooped in to really ruin the last few moments
of feel-good fairground falafel funtimes,
i ran the numbers.
and this year was THE year, guys.
i did what i do, just like i always do,
and i did more of it than any previous year.
check the teleport:
like 1-2-3 let's make it work.
falafels numbering twenty-wight, twenty-nine, and thirty.
that's a F*ing mountain of falafel.
that is the exact record i've held, unchallenged for years and years and years.
now, this year,
i've experienced some humbling and hurtful happenings.
this isn't going to be some sobbing suckhole soliloquy-
i'm just sayin',
after a spate of embarrassing failures,
i have started to realize that the only person i'm actually competing with
with the realization that my personal best is the actual absolute limit,
i learned that the only person i can really defeat is me.
...and beating myself up, anyway i can,
has always been my specialty.
i figured i could beat me in a positive way.
and i had one more.
a personal best, an uncontested fair record,
a disgustingly delicious dosage of delectable dopeness.
i left with the F*ing title.
a previously unheard of feat;
at least, in my life to date.
too much is the right amount,
and with the absence of any close competition in the marathon eating scene,
i took it to eleven all by my lonely.
that's the way i'd have expected it to be, anyway.
i sucked down the new record,
to a series of high fives from the maine falafel mafia,
and a congratulatory QUART of tahini,
plus a pounds and pounds bag of unfried falafel .
y'know what that means?
that means i've got the goods,
and the stuff,
and the flippin' ingredients to keep myself set up with falafel for a little minute.
i'm grateful for the treats.
i'm grateful for the time i took to do this weird little ritual.
i'm basically grateful that for once,
i lost, but i also won.
it's not much, and it's not profitable,
it feels better than usual,
and it's definitely all really happening.
this is What Is;
never quiet, never soft.....