Friday, December 22

DEEP D!!!!

gimme alllllll the pizza.
yes.
that includes the fancy varietals,
especially that depth chargin' deluxxxe-luxxxurious dopeness
that we've come to love as a legitimate pizza in it's own right.
mmhmmm.
the expert vegan deep dish.
there is nothing so rewarding as a slice of pizza pot pie, guys.
that's word.
you know what i'm talking about.
the big action.
the heavy hitter.
the massive attack.
yeah.
DEEP DISH PIZZA.
check the teleport:

STCAKS ON STACK ON STACKS ON STACKS ON STACKS!!!
that's that epic pee eye zee zee ayy sh!t, neighbors.
you know i've gone deep into serious pizza territory,
and come out on the other side a changed man....
the crust!
the chee'!!
the fillin'!!!
the sprankles!!!!
too much is the right amount,
and this is the monument to that sentiment.
i mean it.
real talk, this has so much going on-
it excels and exceeds pizza's ordinary parameters,
while still keeping all the basic elements in place.
it's a winner and it was the best way to activate the solstice.
i had the guy over.
huh?
no.
not the guys.
i don't have that many local active participants ready to throw down.
...just nate, but he's enough.
how so?
because he's down to immerse himself in the experience,
and then dissect and analyze the ingredients,
and generally be truly present for the shared time and community at the supper table.
that's what i'm lookin' for in a bro, bro.
and he's got it.
ANYway,
we ate and ate and ate it all up,
and i'm tellin' y'all-
it was the TRUTH.
get closer:

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN, son!!
it's SO THICCC.
*
now lemme tell you about this crust.
i had my oven crankin', at 485℉,
with the convection spinner circulating all that hot air.
but, while it was preheating,
i also happened to have a roaring-good dough bulking on the counter.
yeah.
-
*
DEEP DOUGH!
-
in my trusty and indispensable stand mixer, i combined:
1 2/3 cups flour;
1 cup semolina flour;
one punch of cornmeal;
2 tsp salt;
2 T vegan butter;
5 seconds' worth of glugs of olive oil;
a spoonful of sugar;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
1 cup warm water + 1 tsp bread machine yeast.
i let that beat itself silly, on the #2 speed on the side, with the dough hook doing the thing,
for like, five minutes, and then let it puff up some, covered, and oiled,
while i prepped all those mise en place bowlfuls of ingredients.
then,
i greased a 9" springform pan,
and pressed 3/4 of the dough down and up and around,
and let that rise another fifteen minutes,
before i added all the stuff.
***********
this balanced blend of stuff is essential to truly deepening the dish. really.
although, i never had one prior to becoming a vegan.
so, i just surmised and assumed and winged it.
y'know what i used?
1 1/4 onions, chiffonade cut and caramelized;
3 cups of sliced portabellos, cooked down by half, with salt and olive oil on high heat.
3 cups of wilted spinach, which makes, like, 4 tablespoons,
added to rainbow sweet peppers, diced and softened;
2 FULL cups of smoked sizzled seared soy-sauce-browned red lentil-seitan sausage slices;
plus,
i dropped some homemade cashew-garlic-tofu underchee',
and then three trimmed slices of daiya provolone,
then the onions, and mushrooms;
next up?
daiya mozzarella, minced for maxxximum meltability (that's the rule now...decreed),
then the peppers and spinach,
then daiya mozz, mixed with with a single minced slice of that provolone.
(it comes in cut discs, dudes; but i mean, y'all can blend up your chee' however you want,
i'm not your supervisor)
then the sausage,
the some basil, because overdoing it is cool.
then,
crushed tomatoes spooned all over and into the nooks and crags and canyons.
is that it?
c'mon.
what are you?
a no-lookin'-A* A*-hole??
you can SEE that there's more chee' blops on top.
and fried garlic sprankles, too.
rules is rules, buddy.
get with it.
i baked that stout keg of corporeal ecstasy for twenty minutes,
and it was F*ing PERFECT.
no jokes.
the crust was elite.
the chee' was melty.
the interior was HOT.
and then,
i activated one more visual component,
and turned it up to eleven with rocket-man leaves of arugula,
and a few parsley spranks.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD.
*
it's the right way to celebrate the darkness.
because deepness goes great with lightless nights,
just like pizza goes great with everything.
i do what i do, friends.
and what i do is keep it excellently expert in this kitchen.
good meals and good times with good people.
that's something to lighten spirits and brighten the nighttime.
the only thing heavy allowed to sit with us was those massive slabs of that DEEP D;
never quiet, never soft.....

1 comment:

Beznarf27 said...

Back in the day I made pizzas. I worked in Pizza Hut and was the dough prep person who turned up in the early morning to make the days dough and then turn it into bases. My very favourite base was the deep pan base. I have maintained my love of them but Steve isn't a fan and doesn't much like pizza. I think this recipe might just sway him over to the pizza side. Another excellent recipe. Cheers for a Boxing Day special and I hope you guys all had an excellent Christmas Day :)