PIZZA PARTY!!!!

out of nowhere, my homeboy nate suggests pizza.
and upon hearing the idea, my girl kayla seconds it.
now, it's becoming a thing so it goes to the office of the supreme chancellor
of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress, which is to say, me,
wherein i approve the motion.
which puts things into motion,
and then moves get made,
so that before the day is done,
me and my peoples are feasting on a perfect trifecta of apizza!!!!
YEAH!!
dudes,
y'either F* with pizza, of you F* Right Off.
that's it.
there's no room for in-betweens.
luckily,
when y'boi is F*ing with that pee eye zee zee ayy,
i'm on some other other sh!t-
like some universal-attunement-type jauns-
and the pizzas that emerge from the trance are like a triple-tag-team of world champions
showing you how things are supposed to be when you care about what you do-
actually, i care a LOT about pizza.
i mean, c'mon.
what do you think i am? some kind of diaper-A* doo-doo baby?
nope.
i'm a pizza aficionado, and i can't hang out with wimpy pizzas.
did i make up a quick batch of cashew-garlic-tofu chee'?
obviously i did,
because underchee' is something that all the real muthas know to be necessary.
rules is rules,
and a white pie wouldn't be worth a poop-crinkle without it, man.
recognize.
*
ok, so i made three, and all of them were very different,
but,
all of them were very expert.
that's real.
check the teleport:

M(WH)EAT-A-BALLS!!!!!
guys, who made miniballs the other day?
yuuuuuup.
and pizza night called for a burly preheat bake-up,
complete with chunky marinara marinade.
i rep a 485℉ convection situation for pizza, on a hearthstone.
and i'll fire in a pan of 'balls while it heats up, to get things started off on the right foot.
the m(wh)eatball  and the sauce recipes are >> here <<.
but, with daiya mozz (always minced for maxxximum meltiness),
and caramelized onions, plus a little nootch,
fried garlic sprankles (of course),
and a little parsley/scallion blend to activate the level-eleven sexxxiness for your eyes,
this one was a BANGER!!!
really, it had a very rich, comforting italian food flavor,
and it sort of surpassed pizza, and evolved into more of a circular open-faced
meatball parm sub or something....
neat.
-
y'know how good bread makes better people, right?
well, that's true for pizza, too, dude.
it can't suck, or you're fired.
so, y'gotta make it count, right?
damned straight.
here's what i've been on about lately:
-
*
PIZZA DOUGH!
-
in your heroic and celebrated stand mixer, combine:
2 cups flour;
2 tsp salt;
2 tsp sugar;
3 T olive oil;
1 cup semolina flour;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
1 cup warm water, with 1 tsp agave, and 1 tsp bread-machine yeast, bloomed.
-
that's it.
knead it up for 8 minutes, let it rise, covered, for thirty minutes,
punch it down, re-cover the bowl, and refrigerate it until later, man.
i let it cold proof all day, sometimes,i even let it go overnight.
it develops all the bigger flavors that way.
try it, you'll see.
anyway,
i cut it into thirds, as evenly as possible, and grandma pan it in my oven.
yes, i have a stone in there, but, alas, it has more cracks than a wadi,
and that can be a sticky situation for your pizzas.
be careful, or use a pan, or don't do either-
i'm not the boss of you, buddy.
*
moving on,
lemme tell y'all one thing about the white pie, with that custom underchee'?
impossibly good.
for realsies.
check it:

POTATOES! BRUSSIES! 'RONIS!!!
OH MYYYYYYY!!!!!
caramelized onions are the dream date for pizza.
they're just so flippin' righteous on top.
and that red lentil seitan sausage, pepperonified, is the way to go.
here's how that happens >> PEPPERONI <<!
a little braisin' on those brussels, with a splash of wisely-reserved seitan broth,
lidded for three minutes, and then glazed with a gentle splash of soy sauce
makes for a umami-mommy of a brassica bud, buds.
wu-TANG.
and the daiya is diced so nice, because that's just good pizza practice.
that underchee'? always a hit.
how do you doo-doo that freaky sh!t on your own?
like >> THIS <<.
you're very welcome.
friends, potatoes, however, never cease to surprise the sh!t out of me on pizza.
you'd think i'd have learned by now that they're the life of the party.
and they are SO lively on top.
i roasted these on parchment, with olive oil and pink salt, while the oven was preheating,
and they turned the most glorious golden brown with perfect blackened bubble-ups
all over their starchy surface area....
what kind of spuds?
mini red potatoes, sliced into 1/4" thick rounds. 
DAS IT.
fried garlic spranks, and a little bit of the garnish,
and just like that, we time-traveled into a sublime state of pizza bliss.
in fact, we were all too busy chewing to sing ample praises for this beauty.
*
last, but by no means least, there's a true banger for these streets:

BUFFFFFFFZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!
whatch'all know about furious expertism unbridled?
well, you're about to learn. man.
-
*
BUFF'D SEITAN & CAULIS
-
that's 3 T butterish in a medkium fry pan, with:
1 1/4 cup sliced homemade seitan;
2 cups cauliflower;
GPOP, black pepper, nootch;
2 T sriracha;
2 T vegan mayo (to emulsify the SAUCE);
1/2 cup red hot louisiana cayenne pepper sauce.
seared and slathered, and cooked up until the liquid is mostly absorbed...
-
that goes on top of a handful of minced daiya cheddar shreds.
then, in among the forest of florets and strips,
there are blops of the homemade chee'......
and when it emerged from the oven?
daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.
red onion sprankles.
cilantro sprankles.
green onion sprankles.
AND a custom thinned-out (with almond milk) chee' drizzle SAUCE!!!
kaBOOM.
that's regal majesty for your eyes, guys.
*
only one pie with red sauce, and that a fancy chunky marinara from the vaults?
yep.
white pie is tight.
buffzies are tight.
tempeh balls are tight.
there's no defining dogma when it comes to keeping it real with some
virtuously veritable victual victory.
baked bread plates with stuff on 'em.
that's all you need to do. 
***********
ANYbody can order a pizza.
but, to create a feast for yourself and your friends,
from scratch,
at home,
like a mutha-F*ing warlord of worthy warrior poetry,
it takes a little forethought,
a decent presence of mind,
and conscious desire to one-up, grandstand, showboat, and big-time
all the other other options that could've been explored.
i'm that one.
the sunovagun who needs to make something special,
even when it's just pizza,
because honestly,
it's never just pizza.
it's a demonstration of mightiness in even the most humble places.
don't be a weak-sauce lil b!hhhhh.
make some pizza, but make it good,
and you'll be headed towards greatness,
one slice out of one circle of semolina success at a time;
never quiet, never soft.....